MEETTA TALKS!- REMEMBERING

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERY BODY!

This post is about the observations I have made on my life's journey.

I share some wisdom I have gained along the way. I believe life is about the journey just as much as it is, about the destination! What better time of the year to remember or reflect on one's life journey, than New Years?

Readers,

I don't know how you spent New Years Eve, but my son and I spent it in a house of God. Now, some of you may be saying..."Oh! Why does she have to bring up God?", considering this is a secular blog. With great intention, I purposely set it up that way! I did not want it to be under a Christian heading because that would limit the type and amount of people who had access to my writings! Just like you, I have much to share about living in this world. I AND my son, could not have made it through what we have, coming out on the UPSIDE of things, if it had not been for that wonderful, positive, powerful "something greater than ourselves." That great "something" protected us, guided us, comforted and raised us up! That something gave us hope and courage that we did not have! That something is the Love of God! My son and I, could only but celebrate that, only the way that we did, in a house of God surrounded by others seeking to do the same. Especially at the close of one year while entering into a new one. Many people did not live to make it to or through 2009!

Some of them were famous, many were not! Some we knew personally and some we never knew! Some we heard about, some we did not. Some died tragically, some died rejoicing! Some were expected to die when they did, but some were a surprise! Young and old alike, all fell by the wayside, LONG BEFORE the year the rest of us lived to see, 2010! "You never know the hour, nor the day...." I got the news a few days back, that a friend of a friend's, husband died with stage 4 cancer. He NEVER EVEN KNEW he had cancer, before 2 months prior to his death! He thought he was suffering from middle age stuff or had the flu when he went in the emergency feeling real bad off! While at church last night, It was announced that a wonderful woman of God, our church's first "Mother of the Church" Congregation died unexpectedly, the day before New Years Eve! I had been feeling quite ill myself for the better part of this year, so I can appreciate being alive and in my right mind to see a new one approach! All I can say besides HALLELUJAH! (Which is the highest praise you can give our Lord)...

...Is I CAN BREATHE! I CAN BREATHE!

When you have breathing troubles, trust me, the rest don't matter!

Ahh reflection! Remembering! There's nothing like it to bring clarity and put things into perspective for you. Like I also said, I have much to share.

In my 42 years, I've seen, heard, and experienced a great many things, including heart ache, heart break, the birth of my only child. I fell in love, fell out of love! Had to raise my son as a single mother, hated it! I have had my share of health issues. I have watched my son almost die 3 times and all before he turned 8 years old! I've experienced racism because of the color of my skin. Judged because of irrefutable ignorance! I've experienced criticism and ridicule because of my uniqueness... the way I speak, the words I use, the way I express myself, my voice also has high pitch to it. I have an "accent", (NOT!) and I speak with my hands and "my face"! I possess creative abilities such as Story telling, (telling stories from my heart and out of life experiences as well as historical points), writing! I write without abandon. I write from the heart. I write from truth! Therefore, many things I write are called "controversial". Hey! Any thing against the grain is controversial, especially truth! People spend their lives trying to hush the truth. Families having secrets that span years, affecting every generation, because they won't bring it out in the open and just DEAL WITH IT! So, controversial or not, I'd still rather be on the side of truth! Eventually "EVERYTHING done in the darkness, will come to light".

More so, I am a person of great passion for God and all that surrounds him. Also Passionate about living life rather than just existing through it. Passionate about HAVING A LIFE, WELL LIVED! I get excited about what interests me and I don't hide my excitement well. Can't understand why I should have to! Ridiculed because I am not the way many people think I should be and I won't conform!

Remembering, Reflecting! Why I celebrated in church on New Years Eve. More on my experiences and lessons I've endured through: I have been through much hurt and so I have developed a strong desire to love, to care for others with great sincerity! That is often mis-undertood and unappreciated because many people are selfish and unforgiving. I want and am determined to have people in my inner circle with whom I can just let my hair down and "be Me" without having to fight to be accepted. And Without having people trying to figure me out.

...I'm passionate about t truth in a world that speaks many lies and is full of deception. I have been betrayed by family members, "friends", church members, co-workers, A man I had wanted to marry...

I was a foster Care kid because my childhood and young adult life was quite painful. I have experienced major financial setbacks, like many of you! Head of my household under Christ, and I NEED another job that pays above $10.00 per hour, full time. Like I said, in my 42 years, I experienced a great many difficult things.

I have had best friends, to no friends! Had good paying jobs and the low paying ones too! Spent time on the welfare system. Though we needed it for a time, my son and I... I HATED THAT with a passion! (Hey, I'm a tax payer too! Was paying taxes while I was receiving supplemental income on welfare, because I was usually working at least, a part-time job, before some of you gripe about that!) Any way...For all of the hoops I had to go through to get help is why I hated it with a passion. The desecration of character I endured because I was a "statistic". I HATED THAT!

I hated the treatment I would get from people when I had to use food stamps to get groceries. Treatment from some of those social workers, was not good either! It was not un- common for them to yell or speak gruffly to clients without provocation. I had never screamed at a social worker until one day, she screamed at me over the phone because she was frustrated with my case! I told her she had no right and I hung up on her. She later called back and those people have those kinds of jobs because they care!

There is a quote that says, "THE POOR HAVE NO FRIENDS." The thought is, something must be wrong with you if are lacking. I think the poor remind people of the fragile state of uncertainty, even for them. Poverty can over take ANYONE at ANY TIME! A wrong investment, you get laid off or fired, you or your spouse or child gets ill, your job closes down for whatever reason and BAM! "Oh! how the mighty have fallen!"

Because I couldn't get a decent paying job, I experienced homelessness, with my son by my side. Forced to sleep on the ground for 8 days back in 2003 because some churches would help and the shelters were full...all this with my son by my side! I have also seen the death of dreams and goals and had to form new ones....

I also have experienced "brokenness" in my life. Such brokenness in that I was just desperate for something, (It had to be a powerful something good) to cling onto to bring me up out of the pain of life including depression, that I was drowning in, lest I'd died! Then...right in the middle of all that brokenness...I got my help! In desperation for my life, I spoke aloud up to the heavens and said, "God if you be real, then show yourself to me." Jesus if you are real show me you ." I'm dying inside and if you don't do something , I will surely die! My heart was broke, my mind was broke, I was broke in the pocket, drained emotionally. To top it off, I was abused or abandoned by all who proclaimed to love me! Even the man whose child I bore. All of that had gone on so long that I had nothing else in life to cling to! On THAT day, in 1998, on a Sunday in the spring time, my life was given back to me.

I amazingly experienced a spiritual "rebirth", but from experiencing

"a touch from God". I felt him ignite my heart with PEACE, the kind that only God can give! It felt like an all consuming fire that swept over me, from the inside out, from top to bottom, burning away the pain and then replacing it with an UNSPEAKABLE NEWNESS OF HOPE! I was so moved that I shook in my body and tears streamed uncontrollably as an invisible God to my eyes, laid on my heart and spoke in my ears as he took time to answer my pleas for help....

...A help that no one on earth could give!

I was forever different! That "voice" which I cannot really describe, was so full

of compassion and concern. It was LOVE like I had never known! It spoke and said " go now! Get up and go, now! It didn't say where to go! But my body just obeyed.

I remember, jumping out of the tub, half dried off, My legs were moving so fast, I was slip-sliding through my apartment, nearly hurt myself! My brain wasn't even thinking for me! I wasn't stopping though! Wow! Got dressed really fast and RAN TO THIS LITTLE CHURCH NEARBY so I could really begin! I ran up the outside stairs flung the door open and ran up the stairs to the sanctuary. I forced passed the ushers, BUSTED THROUGH the double doors leading to the sanctuary! It caused a small commotion because, Church Service was already going on! (Did you see that movie "One night with the King? Remember Queen Esther, when she burst through the meeting Hall doors...now picture me!) In my case, the Pastor, not the King, stopped talking dead smack in the middle of his sermon, and everyone turned to see, what was happening. I was not embarrassed.

I HAD JUST GOTTEN "SAVED!" My sins forgiven, my name was written in the "Lambs book of life" where my soul will have eternal peace! I was on a journey to finding my "true Purpose" for being on this earth. It is not just because my mom and Dad, (married, though they were), had sex and Bing, Bam, Boom! EVERYONE who is born do not live! Everyone who is conceived do not get born Some babies die right in the womb! Many people just muddle through life, until they die, without ever really knowing their purpose or having a productive, quality life. Many take their "talents; and gifts" to the grave with them, still waiting to "make their mark" in the world. Question Reader:

Where is the wealthiest place on Earth?...

Reverend told the ushers to let me be. He saw the look in my eyes and the tears that were flowing. He allowed me to approach and find a seat. I remember the Reverend, just thanking God and blessing the name of Jesus for me! Then serviced resumed. THAT WAS THE FIRST DAY OF MY LIFE, and from that day forward, I never looked back. I was 31. God renewed my life! This is why I celebrate him, even on New Years Eve! This is why he penetrates all that I write! I may not mention his name or scripture, but the wisdom and strength he has given me, shows up!

The greatest things about all of the mentioned experiences, including poverty, as I reflect on what God has brought us through ...is how strong all of those things made us, my son and I! Though we came out beaten down at times, by the storms of life, we were blessed that those things didn't take us under or make us crazy! We appreciate the little things and the basic necessities of life, more so. It doesn't take much for me and my son to be comfortable or content. Those trials also made us stronger as individuals, and as a family, my son and I. There are some people who have killed themselves for going through less than what we've endured! For what we gained, I have no shame in sharing these things publicly with you!

Though I am very, very grateful for being able to celebrate openly, and freely the Love of God,

( I yelled and screamed and danced to the glory of the Lord) I had my eyes close while we were in the sanctuary because that helps me to focus on what is being said by the clergy and to my heart. Closing my eyes in praise helps me take the focus off of the people, who may be looking at me or whatever, and put my focus where it should be...on the Lord. So when I opened my eyes after a time of praise, a lady near me, just kept watching me and I saw her mouth moving she was praying. I have no idea what about, but that is not my concern. I'd just open my eyes and she'd be staring at me again, I'd sit back and she follow me with her eyes. Who knows? But being in Christ a while and seen some things even in the church house, I also know that there are people in the congregations that think it strange how someone else openly praises!

I've heard proclaimed Christians say, "It don't take all of that'! But the bible says that there are times to give open praise. Criticizing someone else's praise... my thought is, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SOMEONE HAS GONE THROUGH? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOD MEANS TO THEM? And if you are focusing on other peoples praise and worship, have you considered yourself? What about your own souls praise? You obviously need to go deeper in the Lord for your self! Maybe you should close your eyes every once in a while in church service, so you can focus! I had to learn that lesson too! That's why I learned to close my eyes! Remembering. Reflection is good! It brings clarity.

I do have one major regret though about last night. I didn't get up to testify, as the congregation was invited by the Pastor to do. He gave us the opportunity on the microphone, on stage to publicly declare some of the good things that the Lord has allowed in our lives in 2009. I appeased myself, by reminding myself of MANY of the times this year, that I spoke of God to strangers at the bus stop, with co-workers on the job, in other places of business...THROUGH MY BLOG posts! I focused on how many conversations of sharing godly experiences, encouragement and bible scriptures with non-believers, Jehovah's witnesses as well as with seasoned Christians! In closing, in 2009, as well as throughout almost my entire adult life, I have had some serious trials to face and through Christ...We, My son and I, overcame them ALL!

Though I did not share my testimony with many last night, I thank God for those that I did get a chance to share some things with, one on one. I also am very grateful to have had and taken opportunities that I did, to share many God given victories. God is wonderful and is worthy of the best praise we can give, even despite and even in spite of others! I've also been given a great opportunity to share Gods knowledge, scripture and some faith experiences with a new believer who I speak with on a daily basis, helping her on her Christian walk through life. Remembering, reflecting on the fact that ... GOD IS GOOD! AND HE is real!

Life Application Study Bible, N.I.V. (New International Version)

Footnotes:

1 Peter 3:15-18

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have, But do this with gentleness and respect, Keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.

ALSO read

Matthew-15: 29-31

HAPPY, BLESSED NEW YEAR!

From my heart & home, to yours...Meetta

Oh! The GRAVE, is the answer to my question of where the wealthiest place on earth is!

Don' t take your "gifts" and talents to your death.

Develop and USE THEM!!

On THE jOB

In this weekly post....

I present and discuss different situations that happen on the job involving management and other co-workers. I discuss how situations were handled and leave room for you readers, to place your thoughts in the comment section at the bottom of this column post. Your thoughts on how YOU think it should have been handled or you just sharing your personal experiences is a great outlet! From That perhaps, We, ALL OF US "on the job" can get some valuable information on how to grow!

THAT'S WHAT this particular weekly column IS ALL ABOUT! Growth.

I believe that this is necessary to have an open forum about this VERY, VERY important topic because of the amount of time we spend at work!

Do you realize that your job is the second place behind your home life that you spend the most time AND where some of the most important relationships in your life are? For some people, it's the other way around. They spend more time on their job and with their co-workers friends than they do at home!

Still, this weekly post is necessary because we all need outlets! Spending hours, on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis on your job (just like any where else) guarantees that certain situations will come up that you may not want to deal with. But you will find yourself having to deal with them, including bad attitudes, gossip, dis-respectful behavior from bosses and co-workers alike! Unless you work all by yourself (even then you still going to have to deal with someone, a client, the mail carrier, package deliverer etc.) YOU ARE GOING

to find yourself in some VERY UNCOMFORTABLE and tense situations on the job at some point! How you handle them so that you get the positive outcome that you need while maintaining your integrity, self respect and not to mention, maintaining your employment at that particular workplace, IS A HUGE ISSUE! At least, it should be to you, for your own sake!

It is absolutely necessary to have this post to express thoughts on how to positively go through some tough times while we are at work. We need to share and get it out! Most assuredly, most all of us working adults, have either seen on the news or been witnessed to some destructive behavior involving the workplace. Sometimes people have cursed people out, they've gotten into get into physical fights, unnecessarily quit or get fired, unnecessarily.

A great many things have occurred because situations on the job, got out of control! Some of these things have caused great destruction to both property and to peoples lives. So lets talk about this stuff people! Lets talk about what bothers you on the job, how it was handled and how it could be handled better! OK?

Me, I am a talker AND a writer! So whenever I get upset OR even on good days, if I have a lot to say, I naturally talk it out or write it out and that helps me! Now, some of you may be different! You may be a person who does not feel comfortable talking or writing your feelings out. On jobs throughout my life, I've been a witness to a wide range of how people deal with certain situations on the job.

For example, some people, though they have the right to speak to management or co-workers about certain things, they refuse to do it out of fear or passiveness! There are others who won't say anything to the people they should be saying it to. Nope, they just WON'T DO IT! Instead they mumble and complain to other workers who have absolutely NO POWER in which to change things! All the while though, nothing has changed in their work life except that they are now in a situation where frustration and stress could set in. Did you know that stress is the basis for a number of serious health issues like Cancer, ulcers (holes in your stomach lining) and premature balding as well?

Another example of negativity happening on the job include bullies. You know there are bullies on the the job! Some of them are our peers, but what do you do when the bully is your boss? Your boss may be taking advantage

of you in ways that are not in your job description, asking and EXPECTING you to do work under your regular salary that contractors would get paid separately for doing! Maybe your boss makes snide comments directly to you OR

in your presence about you and others. Why people NOT say anything and rightfully so, is ALL BECAUSE OF FEAR! Fearful of losing their job, being blackballed, especially now! Still, your fear empowers the bullies and unless you take action against them, at least for yourself, you have a lot more to contend with than just your bully! That bully at work, more than likely

WILL NOT STOP on their own! If you don't take action,

if you know that you should, you may find yourself needlessly

compromising on other things down the road!

YOU MAY NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT, BUT you may not be as strong as you think!

Fear can paralyze you and cloud your judgement!

BULLIES operate in fear! That is their fuel!

That is their vehicle in which to maneuver ALL OVER YOU!

So when you are scared to stand up for yourself or others in wrong situations, then you are accommodating that bully and making there hold on you, stronger. THAT'S SCARY!

What's even more scary is that there are people on the job who just take the abuse from these people!

So, I've found that talking about it gives a positive outlet and can provide clarity on the subject of problems on the job. In this column, I do give examples using my own life experience as well as stories from other workers from other places of employment from their past employment. This column IS NOT to bash employers. I WILL NOT list names or places.

So DO NOT include them in your comments, please. Thank you!

REMEMBER, THIS COLUMN IS TO HELP US GET IT ALL OUT and

to help us stay healthy and GROW!