TEEN SPEAK,
Is where I write about what concerns young people and what concerns adults about young people! This includes character building traits, self-esteem issues, peer pressure, loneliness, shyness...you name it!
Yo! What's up? How you been? What's happening? What up doe? How's it going?
How you doing? Heyyyy!
.....Did I cover all the latest greetings?
If I left any popular greetings out, feel free to let me know. I will surely use it in my next greeting to you. Understand, your response to this column is very important, as it is dedicated to you. So, I want to create an environment in it, that you can feel comfortable.
My TEEN SPEAK, column is dedicated to you because I strongly and very passionately believe that young people should be given as much encouragement to find and lift their voice to be heard as much as possible! As much as possible! In spite of the outdated saying that "children should be seen and not heard." Because of the growing evil against children, children can't afford to be silent!" And I have my personal reasons for believing so strongly in that.
See, I was a Foster kid, made that way when the court took me out of my home at 15 years old as a rescue mission. The home they took me out of, my family home, was an abusive one. One where on my own, I could not escape. Though during those years prior to my rescue, I tried to tell others of my situation despite threats from my abusers, who were in turn were my mother and 3 out of 4 of my brothers. Despite the fact that I went to teachers, my Grandmother, friends, who tried to tell their parents...no one really listened. Many adults didn't want to get involved, not even my own Aunts and uncles!
Somebody! A neighbor, a teacher, Relatives... they had to know my mother, their sister, daughter, neighbor, had horrible, overwhelming issues! I knew, at least, for my relatives to be true, because as a child, I heard them talking. When I would visit my grandmother's and my Aunts homes, I would hear them talking about my mother. As an adult, some of them have told me things they knew was wrong! Maybe they didn't know the full story, but they knew something wasn't quite right with. I was told that they had their own children and they didn't want to get involved in our stuff. Some said they really didn't know how deep it went, that they just heard rumors throughout the family. I'm like, "didn't you pay attention to my tears when you would take me back to her! I fought to not get out of the car! I remember calling my Grandmother crying to send someone to come get me. I was hungry and tired. Are you kidding me?"
Didn't they know my brothers were running wild? One was in and out of juvenile and jail. One got hooked on drugs as a teen and still struggles. One has never really left my mothers side and still lives with her at 44 years of age, in part because he's really not in good health. My older brother lives out of town with his wife. They are happy, but even he and I remain disconnected because he supports my mother out of loyalty that I believe is deeply rooted in pity, even to this day! He often lets his regard for her be the basis of his views of me, which is not a good thing. He felt that I should have just kept my mouth shut and focus on our mothers pain, instead of my own. See, trying to silence the voice that I had been given. Anywayyyyy!
Young people, let this be a lesson to you, FIND YOUR VOICE!
And NEVER let anyone take it from you!
My immediate family is the reason why I have tried to do right by my son, who is now 20. Though I am my mother's daughter, I am not like my mother. It was from watching and suffering her that I decided what kind of woman I was and was not going to become. It is also greatly because of my brothers, my mothers sons, that I look out for my son like I do!
I give my son what he and I call, "Life Lessons".
It's wisdom, Knowledge and common sense tips with which to arm himself with and spend a whole lot of time communicating with him as much as I do! I have taught him to use his voice. Especially the one that comes through his mouth! Speak up! Speak up when you have thoughts to share. Don't quench them! Especially when you feel wronged! You don't owe anybody your pain. You don't owe anybody THAT, I tell him!
So you young people can get a full understanding of my what lead to find my voice,
I will tell you a bit more of my journey. In Foster Care they had to help me through a bevy of problems. One of which was my education, of course.
In Jr. High I was sent to the school social worker because I was doing so poorly.
I went from an A & B student to a F student in just a few short months. I was the spelling B champ and kept throwing matches. And my teacher knew I enjoyed learning and taking part in those spelling bees!
It was tough being my mothers child. For years, I felt I was being punished for something that I could never understand. She just took herself away from me. Being the only girl in the family, that was hard to deal with! There was no one healthy for me to relate to in my household. My mother wasn't doing my hair. My mom used to send me to the beautician, but she stopped. One time her and her boyfriend tried to perm my hair and ruined it. She sent me to school like that anyway. It was terrible!
It was so bad the teachers took notice and sent me to the office to try and help. You couldn't get a rake through that! My aunt saw me walking to school one morning, (as she lived in the same neighborhood) and brought me into her home to try and make something of it. She did my hair the best she could. It was so thick and tight! Ugh!!
With some clothes in a big black garbage bag, I later "ran away" to my Aunt's house, but she sent me back the next morning. I gave up after that point. I wanted somebody to pay attention! I wanted the people who had the power to do something, to look and see, come to my house, but they weren't listening.
I failed the 7th grade twice, on purpose! It was so bad that I remember the principle and the school Social Worker (Mrs. Jones) working frantically on how to save me from myself. They kept telling me at the end of the school year, to just come to class on exam day. When I got there, they instructed me to just put my name on the paper and they would pass me. NOPE! I REFUSED.
I still hadn't gotten the real saving that I needed!
*(Please don't do this to yourselves young people. I am not trying to encourage you in self-destructive behaviour. I am only illustrating my pain for the sake of taking you on my journey of how I found my voice and how I followed it as a pathway up and out! Other wise, I wouldn't have included this. OK?) M.
Part II is directly following part I.
So stay tuned and FIND YOUR VOICE!
Meetta
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