WELCOME BACK to where I talk about all issues concerning MEN, WOMEN and CHILDREN.
I talk about everything from individual issues that affect each group separately, I talk about relationships to issues that affect the family scenario like ...CHILD SUPPORT!
And that just happens to be the subject matter of today! By the way, when I told my son about y writing about the child support issue a few months ago. He asked me a few weeks later, "Mom, did you write it?", I said "Write what?". He said, "The article on CHILD SUPPORT. Did you write it?" When I answered him that No, I had not. He asked me why. After I had answered he said was adamant that I should.
Now Reader, you may be questioning this, Why would her son want her to write about this highly tense and volatile subject? The answer is, is because he and I have been greatly affected in our own lives, ( as a single parent family,) by the issue of Child support. It is not just the money, but it is about the processes and actions of people who refuse to pay it, to care for their child or children! It is ALSO ABOUT, what the issue of child support does to the child in question. Sometimes the situation is good or at least amicable between parents on the issue of paying and spending the monies on the children appropriately. The kids get taken care of and that's the beginning and end of it.
Other times, that is not the case! And the lack of that extra money, depending on that custodial parents situation, GREATLY AFFECTS the way that the child needs get met! Whether or not the child has enough food in the house to freely eat, or have socks and shoes as they are needed, comes into question or at least it should! What about the money going towards helping the custodial parent keep a roof over them and the child (children heads). The kids have to have a place to live also! Most often, WHERE THE PARENT GOES, THE CHILD GOES!
IF THE PARENT GETS HOMELESS Because, say they lose their job and can't pay the bills, for example, that Child support gets to be very important! So therefore, Child support does directly affect the child! It should ALWAYS be more about the child, than about the parents issues with themselves or with each other! Know that in many Child support cases, the Dad (but not always) is the one who has to pay child support (the payer). Even though many of them regret, resent and blatantly refuse to pay or bargain with the court to pay as little as possible. They think they are getting away with something if they have to pay a smaller amount they know they can or should pay! Many of them, though they complain about paying, don't want the full responsibility of caring for the child as the custodial parent. So, they leave the child with the mother or someone else, only still to complain, gripe and run away from their responsibilities when paying the money is the easiest part of child rearing!
In the scenarios I am closely affiliated with, the men are all the expected payers and many of them resent it! The men I am thinking of resent it because of several selfish and cruel reasons.
The fact that they are selfish is a MAJOR reason. Being self-centered IS NOT A great character trait to have as a parent! Many people are so selfish that even after the child is here on earth, they decide to put that attention on themselves and abandon the child because the child needs so much! Remember that the baby is here on earth BECAUSE OF YOU! It didn't come here on it's own! It had a little help! You made your bed, now lie in it and buy some diapers (regularly) and you dead beat!
Another reason for parents not wanting to take care of the child is grudge holding. They are angry with the custodial parent so they take it tale their anger out on the kid, refusing to pay the mother for the care of the child. Some of them will even try to find fault with the mother's spending, (un-rightly so) asking close relatives, friends and EVEN THE CHILD, (no matter how young they are) to keep tabs on the mother's spending! This can hurt the child, taking sides and being used as a spy for the evil, selfish deeds of the payer of the child support! Children just want to be loved. They don't deserve nor understand nor care to be used! So grow up you childish men ( women). 'Cause One day that child is going to grow up and see you for what you really are...A selfish dead beat who needs help! You end up being someone your own child takes pity on and even may go to God on your behalf in prayer! The child ends up caring for you WAY MORE than you care for them! You don't' deserve it, but they do it anyway.
Some of these men are my relatives, so I know what I am talking about. And again Dear Reader, as I have written about in other posts,...I also take public transportation, so I have heard lots of discussions out in the public in my lifetime of travels, in and about the city. That also makes me qualified to say what I am about to report to you 'IN TRUTH'. I've known men not to pay child support because they "hated the mother". They couldn't be with the mother so they refused to take care of the child! Some just wanted sex, and was so careless and selfish that they didn't use protection and out come a baby, the spitting image of them! Then they call the mother stupid or a whore for having sex with them! (Funny how they NEVER CONSIDER
THEM SELVES MAN WHORES! The woman could be the nicest and most non-whorish woman you know, but to them, all of a sudden, she's dirty! OH! READER we are going to get deep with this topic today! That's why I had trouble getting up the energy to write about Child support, because it is so much more surrounding it than just money! I can tell you now, this is going to be a series!
Child support is more about assuming responsibility ALONG WITH letting your child or children know that you care about them! It is NOT about the custodial parent of the child, to whom Child support has to be paid to, as guardian of the child or children! So stop the crap! If it really is an issue the you need to take that through the proper channels, the court! But in a great number of the cases, particularly those I personally know about, the men just DON'T WANT TO PAY or buy clothes, food, school supplies, baby sit..NOTHING! Then as the child grows, they expect the child to trust and respect them. P-SHAW! YEAH RIGHT!!!
BYE , MEETTA
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