MEETTA'S READERS - WORDS OF SUPPORT

Thank you Readers,

For your words of encouragement. This is where I share your comments.

L. -From Garden City, Michigan

March 25,2011

By the way, I've been praying for you and your family situation all week. It's so sad to hear all that happened to you and I'm amazed by your strength.

Man!, Meetta, you've been through a lot and I can understand why you've wanted to keep your distance from some of them. You can't control them. You can just control how you react to them, what you do with your life and what it is. You amaze me!

Meetta said:

Thank you, my friend. This was very kind of you to say to me. And I must tell you, it is very lonely being a victim of abuse. So, your words of support means more than you know! Because, when a person is put into a situation like I and my mothers sons' were it's very lonely. Especially, when you have people in your family that have never come to grips with the depth of the situation, nor accepted or demanded accountability, it's easy to find yourself lonely and the victim again.

...Lonely because, often you can't go to or don't know who to go to whether friends, or family. Family in particular is a tough situations when it comes to not knowing who to go to in the family for comfort, protection, true understanding and support. Lonely also, because you are bound by secrecy. That secrecy is covered in shame and cast you into a pit of darkness. Toss into that mixture, the abusers threats of greater violence including death and what you have is a very, very lonely, confusing and hopeless situation.

A victim, again.... because of the agony that you are forced to face because some of those relatives and family friends, have not faced their own personal issues of guilt, shame or helplessness over what you and your siblings went through! Maybe they could have helped and didn't! Now that you have survived and still around, they have to look at you from time to time and maybe are being secretly tormented as well by their own conscience. Perhaps they see you at family gatherings that I and my family have been having lately because of a death in the family and those people become reminded! And instead of assuming accountability for even their own personal issues over the matter, they direct their angst in other directions, including in yours!

Now you are faced with another struggle connected to your abuse, maintain that the problem is with those feeling those emotions and recognizing the problem is not with you! You are once again, wrongly and unfairly forced to find and fight to maintain your place of victory in the twisted matter, that has once again targeted you! Somebody is once again trying to use you as a scapegoat, just as my abusers did, because they didn't know how to or just didn't seek out another way to deal with their problems, so they found a way to pin it on you. Now you have to a battle that you shouldn't have to keep fighting! So, you choose to stay away and face the reality of not having a supportive loving family that you felt you had a right to with your blood relatives. So, you create your own with your with friends, your mate and your children, refusing to be without that which is a human need. This is where my strength continues to grow... in my refusal to let the wrongs and horrible, weak actions and thoughts of others keep taking away that which is precious to me. So, at 43 years of age I continue to speak out, refusing to let them take my voice, my freedom and dignity away from me... again! Perhaps, this will help someone else find their freedom, their voice and regain their dignity as well.

And No. You can't change the past, but accept that it happened, find your place in the matter, put the blame in its proper place and work from there. "Change the things that you can and accept things you cannot." Yes, Forgive: forgo, release; and take back the offense,(which is what true forgiveness really is), but recognize the truth! Seek accountability where there is hope for it.

See, accountability opens the door to personal growth and can help with healing.

And it is a very powerful thing to take ownership of your actions. It shows great strength, courage, wisdom, brevity and can bring unto you, honor, dignity while you earn the respect and trust of others! You can forgive somebody, but even with forgiveness, you don't have to trust them by letting them back into your life! Trust and Forgiveness are two totally different things! Let's keep that straight! Even if a person has not taken sincere strides to make amends by at least owning up their actions, then I forgive them meaning I release them, don't hold nothing over their heads. I will be kind and generous toward them giving them "food when they are hungry and drink when they are thirsty", but I will let them be where they are and go my way! Because if they don't take further steps towards ownership of their actions, they can't be trusted and may very well be more inclined to repeat that which they are accustomed to.

As for my family, Let it be known, that on this past Monday night on March 21,2011,

I opened the door for this particular son of my mothers',to take accountability when

I told him in front of two of my Uncles that "at a certain point, not now, but I would like to talk to you" and he dismissed me, saying he saw no point in it. Later, he and an uncle got into an argument and as he stormed out, he saw me, pointed at me in front of all the family and said it "this is your fault!" Now, keep in mind that I haven't seen this person (my mothers son),(the one who started sexual, physical and emotional abuse on me and turned two of my other brothers and 3 of their friends on me as a child), for the past 20 years! But he blames me for what he's going through now with somebody else in the family! Just for the record, I was 5 when the abuse started. Even when I was 12 years old,

(he was 18), this same brother, once followed me into the bathroom and began to undo his pants. I started to scream and he slipped right back out the door. Only to kick me in stomach later with both feet, becaue I wouldn't let him touch me. And when I was little and "my brother" was having forcible sex with me his sister), he would talk to me and taunt me telling me the same thing then, "This is your fault" I'm doing this to you!" ...The same thing he said that night, recently at a relatives house! One of my Aunts defends him without knowing the full truth, saying "he was a boy when he that to her! Leave him alone! He's trying to get on with this life, but he can't because people keep bringing this up to him! Leave him alone!" Though he was in and out of juvenile and jail by then, having left his abusive legacy to continue with 2 other of my mothers sons, and me... This particular mother's son was 18 when he last tried to molest me and later kicked me in the stomach, bruising my insides, because I wouldn't let him touch me. From that and alot of other things, they locked him up again! He was not a boy. He was a man! In America, at 18, he is considered to be an adult. NOT a boy, but a man! .......(Pause for thought.) God help that Aunt of mine. God help us all!

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!", he said to me!

LORD! LORD JESUS! That's evil! It's evil! And it's denial running rampant.

It's cowardly, weak, and destructive even now! And everybody, including family and friends, that are around him loving on him, not holding him accountable and not helping him properly deal with his pain, is at fault. If they truly love him, they would hold him accountable for his actions towards me and everyone else he hurt, taking the blinders off. Helping him with accountability, even through his own pain. In fact, if he develops a healthy understanding of accountability and responsibility on his part, it will also help him put accountability on those person that let him down as well and he will find that it will help him find his emotional freedom. Put things in their proper place. Because otherwise, he is a bomb waiting to explode! But for them to help him properly, some of them have got to face their own giants first in areas that pertain to this situation! And unfortunately, if he, my mothers son, doesn't come to terms with himself, he is going to destroy himself and everybody around him. And that is why I blatantly and openly warned my 20 year old son of the dangers of getting involved in this mans life.

And 2 days after the incident when my mother's son, refused the opportunity to speak with me about the matter of of our childhood, having a chance to acknowledge and take responsibility for the havoc he wreaked and also blamed me for his grief with my Uncle...he met my son, at a relative house. My son who doesn't know this man, My mother's son! My son never laid eyes on his "Uncle" before that day, because he, my mother's son, has been in prison since my son was a few months old! My son is 20! So, I watched and listened as this man told my son, "the past is the past" I want to know you now." My son told him, "Dude, I don't know you!", but he shook his hand smiled, in awkwardness. He saw me sitting there and smirked at me when he passed my by. Only to also tell my son,

"I'll be in contact with you. We'll talk." And he wanted my son to take his number down.

Oh, no they won't! Because Right then, I told my son "I do not want you around that man. He is dangerous." I've explained to my son, why I am so adamant about this. My son is MY Son! Others can let that man be around them, their children and grand children all they want, but I won't! And if anything happens to them because they ignored that this man(their nephew and friend) is a known pediphile, child molestor, rapist and has not shown any proof that he's been rehabilitated. For instance, He has not shown remorse in this regard or taking sincere accountability in FULL, COMPLETE TRUTH, for even the evil which he put upon his own sister, me! If something does happen, they will be held accountable for any incident that occurs with him! And last I heard, he was an active Muslim, so no love of Jesus there! There is no healthy fear of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob! He is not moved by the name Jesus! All I know is, me and my son won't be around this man. In fact, my son and I are estranged from my mother, and other brothers because there is no outwardly recognition, or accounatibility on their parts as well! Forgive; release? Yes. Trust. NO. Keep in contact? NO. Don't have to! God loves me us all! But "If you know the wall hurts, then why keep banging your head against it?"

I love my son and care about this well being. And though many mothers have miserably failed in this area, a mothers job is to protect her children no matter how old they get! Protecting them, even from themselves as wisdom directs. The phone number of my mothers sons, have since been deleted from my sons phone. We are moving and they are not even allowed to know where we live! In fact, they don't know now, not even my mother! And if our family loves me and my son like they claim they do, they will understand what I'm saying and the action I have taken to arm my son with knowledge for his own protection! Those relatives and family friends will ALSO tell and keep that man away from us, outside of a family gathering.

You are right, my friend! It does matter what I do with my life and how I react to them. I also understand I can't control my family, even in how they view me! I don't much care anymore, (especially after the events of earlier this week) which is a good thing! Because many of them still have issues and their own thoughts about how I grew up. And I realize, no matter how many books I write, how many passionate pleas I give about admitting truth and taking accountability... no matter how many people who hear my story come to Christ or go on to live better lives in part because of something I said...It won't matter, to some of the relatives and family friends because they may never see my life the way I, or even the way Jesus sees it!

And for that, they will forever be bound in that area. I, on the other hand, have and will continue to experience much freedom, strength and JOY in my life, because I have faced my giants, like the biblical person, King David did with Goliath. By the power of God, I have slayed many and will continue to gain strength and courage enough to slay many more giants in this situation and every other situation in my life. The word of God, loving understanding people who have walked on my lifes' journey, with me, surrounding me and my son with their love, patience and wisdom, chastisement, holding even me accountable for my actions...along with faith, confidence, courage and my determination to not let my life "be a waste" (as I was told as child that my life would be)... is what has helped shape me into person I am today, the person that you honor with your support. I tell my story, because I don't want someone else to have to suffer like I did , if I can prevent it! I very much want healing for my family and those closest to us. But that won't completely come if other don't face what happened! Fear, keeping it quiet, denial, and lack of responsibility is not helping anything or anyone! And I for one, know that I have not grown in some of my family members eyes, especially that one Aunt I mentioned. They see their own pain, shame perhaps, and that pained little girl I used to be, the one they didn't help, rather than the strong, self sufficient, independent, vibrant, creative, intelligent, outspoken, passionate, woman that I have become. For these reason, I speak out!

Lastly, Praise be to Jesus that he drew near to me and called me unto himself. Because otherwise, I would not be the woman you stand in amazement of today. Praise be to God.

Thank you again, my friend, so very thoughtful of you.

Reader, I apologize for writing so much in response, but this was very close to my heart. Hope it helps somebody grow!

Sincerely, Meetta

Men, Women & children- The POWER OF WORDS, 1 of 2

Welcome Readers!

Welcome to all things concerning Men, women & Children.

Today's topic is "The Power of Words". For this article, I am bringing in the big guns!

One of which, is my son, Brad. The other big gun, is a children's story written by a big named personality. The name of the author is not the subject of this article, is why I don't reveal it at the beginning of the story. The BIG DEAL, is the lessons that come from the book. Not so much as who wrote it, as it is used here for the sake of this article!

My son, Brad, wrote this intriguing thought on the book that this article mentions and is written around.

"This is a story that transcends the limits of age and teaches a very valuable lesson that everyone should learn and keep dear to their hearts. "

Brad C. R. Martin

MR. PEABODY'S APPLES

Written by ....

Illustrated Loren Long

IN THE TOWN OF HAPPVILLE... (which wasn't a very big town),

Mr. Peabody was congratulating his little league team on a great game.

They had not won, but no one really cared because they'd had such a good time playing. Mr Peabody was history teacher at the local school and during the summer, he dedicated every Saturday to organizing baseball games with the other schools.

Billy little (who wasn't very big boy) was one of Mr. Peabody's students. He loved baseball more than anything, and he thought Mr. Peabody was the greatest. After each game, Billy would always help to pick up all the bats and balls. And when they were finished, Mr. Peabody would smile and say, "Thanks, Billy, good job. I'll see you next Saturday."

Then he would start his walk home along the main street of Happville (which wasn't a very big street) waving hello to everyone he knew, and everyone would wave hello back. Along the way, he always passed Mr Funkadeli’s Fruit Market. Here Mr. Peabody would stop and admire Mr. Funkadeli’s fresh apples. He would pick one the shiniest apple, drop it in his bag and continue on his way.

Across the street, Tommy Tittlebottom watched with curiosity as Mr. Peabody walked away with the apple. "That's strange, " Tommy said to himself.

"Mr. Peabody didn't pay anyone for that apple."

Tommy got on his skateboard and rushed to tell his friends.

The following Saturday, Mr. Peabody's team played another game and they lost (as usual), but no one seemed to care because they had such a good time playing. Billy picked up the balls and bats, and Mr. Peabody set off on his walk home. He waved to everyone he knew and they waved back. Once gain, he stopped outside Mr. Funkadeli's fruit market, picked up the shiniest apple, dropped it in his bag and continued on his way.

Across the street, Tommy Tittlebottom and his friends were amazed at what they saw. Mr. Peabody and had not paid for the apple. They couldn't wait to tell all of their friends,who told threir parents, who told their neighbors, who told their friends, in the town of Happville (which wasn't a very big town).

The Saturday after that, Mr. Peabody was standing all alone on the baseball field, wondering where everybody was.

Then he saw Billy walking towards him with a sad look on his face.

"Hello, Billy.

I am glad you're here, but where is the rest of the team?" asked Mr. Peabody.

Billy remained silent. What is it, Billy?" he asked again.

Billy didn't look up. "Everybody thinks you're a thief, " he said to the ground.

Mr. Peabody looked confused. He took off his hat and scratched his head.

"Who says I am a thief, Billy? And what did I steal?" he asked.

"Tommy Tittlebottom and his friends said they saw you take an apple from Mr. Funkadeli's fruit market, twice, and they said you didn't pay for them", answered Billy.

"Ahh," said Mr. Peabody, putting his hat back on his head. "Let's go and talk to Mr. Funkadeli about it, shall we?"

Billy and Mr. Peabody walked down the main street (which wasn't a very big street) and

Mr. Peabody waved to all the people he knew, but now some of them did not wave back and some pretended they didn't even see him.

They finally arrived at Mr. Funkadeli's fruit market.

Out popped Mr. Funkadeli, who said "Hey, what are you doing here, Mr. Peabody?

Why aren't you at the game?" "There wasn't a game today, " said Mr. Peabody, "and I was wondering if I could take my apple earlier than usual?

"Sure, why not?" replied Mr. Funkadeli.

"You pay for them every Saturday morning when you pick up your milk, so you can take them when you like. You want the big shiny one, Mr. Peabody?"

Mr. Peabody took his apple, smiled and offered it to Billy.

"I would like to take the apple, Mr. Peabody, but

I have to go and find Tommy and explain everything," said Billy.

"When you find him, ask him to come over to my house. I would like to speak to him, too, " replied Mr. Peabody."

A little while later, Billy found Tommy and told him what had happened wit the apples. He told Tommy that Mr. Peabody wanted to speak to him right away. So, of Tommy ran and when he arrived, he rang the doorbell. Mr. Peabody came to the door. They looked at each other for a while. "Oh dear, Mr. Peabody, " said Tommy, on the doorstep. "I didn't understand.

I should not have said what I said, but it looked like you hadn't paid for the apples."

Mr. Peabody's eyebrows went up a little and he felt a warm breeze blow across his face.

"It shouldn't matter what it looked like," he said.

"What matters is the truth."

Tommy looked down at his shoes and said, "I am so sorry.

What can I do to make things better, now?"

Mr. Peabody took a deep breath, looked up at at small cloud int he sky and said, "I'll tell you what, Tommy. Meet me at the baseball diamond in one hour and bring a pillow stuffed with feathers." "OK," said Tommy, who ran off to his house to get a pillow.

An hour later, Tommy met Mr. Peabody on the pitcher's mound.

"Hello Tommy," said Mr. Peabody. "Follow me and bring your pillow."

Tommy followed Mr. Peabody to the top of the bleachers, wondering what this was all about.

It's a windy day, isn't it?" asked Mr. Peabody when they reached the top.

Tommy nodded his head in agreement.

"Here is a pair of scissors," continued Mr. Peabody."

"Now cut the pillow in half and shake the feathers out."

Tommy looked confused, but did it anyway.

He thought this was a small price to pay to gain Mr. Peabody's forgiveness.

The wind carried the thousands of feathers far and wide.

Tommy looked relieved and said, "Is that all I have to do to make things better?"

"There is one more thing," said Mr. Peabody.

Now you must go and pick up all the feathers."

Tommy frowned. "I don't think it's possible to pick up all the feathers, " Tommy replied.

"It would be just as impossible to undo the damage that you have done by spreading the rumour that I am thief," said Mr. Peabody.

"Each feather represents a person in Happville."

There was a long pause as Tommy began to understand what Mr. Peabody was saying.

Finally, he said, " I guess I have a lot of work ahead of me."

Mr. Peabody smiled and said, "Indeed you do. Next time, don't be so quick to judge a person. And remember the power of your words."

Then he handed Tommy the shiny red apple and made his way home.

THE END

Mr. Peabody's Apples

Written By Ms. M.... (Madonna)

*Please see EDITORS NOTE at the bottom.

EDITORS NOTE:

Yes. The author is Madonna. I held it back until the end, yet still making sure to give credit where credit is due, rather than distract you with it in the beginning.

"This is the second of five children's books she's written."

And though I do not support Kabbalah-ism, this story has a significant lessons in it.

Mr. Peabody Apples, was based off a story told by Madonna's Kabbalah teacher.

(This information is in the jacket of the book). Regardless of where this particular story comes from, we can all stand to keep learning!

And by the way, Lessons like those on slander, gossip, forgiveness, discernment, character building and the power of words (though not quite written like this), are also found in Christian teachings, and written throughout the Holy Bible. Which I am a supporter and believer in!

In some ways "we should be like little children,"

this is one of those times.

Be like Tommy Tittlebottom and Billy Litttle, after they learned a very powerful lesson.

Be open, recognize and accept your wrongs, especially when they are shown to you.

Be active in taking responsibility for them and apologize when neccessary.

LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES and GROW!

BE a BETTER you! MEETTA

MEETTA TALKS- HEALING WORDS, For My Family

Abuse was a very terrible part of my life! What is even more hurtful than the acts of abuse themselves, is the response of some of my relatives! Particularly, my mother's brothers and sisters. Their feelings even extended itself through some of their kids as well! That action was even harder to bear. Harder to bear because a chances of healthy relationships with their kids, , my cousins, were affected were being made nearly impossible too! That animosity had spilled over into our early adult years. To this day, I'm not close with any of them, really.

It's really sad.

Still, it has taken a GREAT DEAL of healing, forgiveness, weeping and strengthening to be able to move forward in my life. Gods word and his people (some of those that believe in him greatly) he sent in my life to nurture me, fight for me and stand by me. Unfortunately, my mothers family and I have never really been on the mend. Still to this day, many of them still have ill and mis-guided thoughts about what transpired int he midst of their family. I started writing about some of my experiences in 2002 as part of a book of poetry I was blessed to produce. Many people in the local area were very supportive and encouraging. I was told that that book helped open a door for healing in others and their families. Since then, from time to time, I will get asked for new books, that are coming out. Sometime in the near future, I. Still, though I am very grateful that my writings of my my life has helped mothers, I do have a desire. One of my hearts grand desires is that my words then and now, by the power of God will begin create a healing in my family as well!

At this time, as my family is still greatly in need of healing, I have once again been documenting my experiences and even offering my writings as a form of a healing exercise. Get it out, face it in it's nakedness, terror and truth! FACE IT! And facing it is the only way to deal with this, 'cause after all these years people are still hurting and being dis-illusioned by the abuse and the affects of it as it continues to eat away at family.

INSPIRATION STATION

MY UNCLE

By Meetta J. Martin

From her book "You Can't Say That!";

Poetry to Strengthen, Heal and Encourage~2002

I never forgot

when My Uncle

told me to my face that he thought I was crazy.

I was his niece!

See, this is what abuse surrounded by lies can do,

Rip a family completely apart and cause people to take sides, even against the victim!

My Uncle said I was a problem

and nothing I could ever do would change his point of view!

My heart sank.

HOW COULD MY UNCLE SAY SUCH A THING TO ME?

I thought, how could he feel that way?

What did I ever do to him?

What did I ever do to anyone in the family?

What did I do to anyone for that matter, to deserve my Uncle's wrath?

When it came to my abuse by 3 of my brothers and by my mother,

his sister,

My Uncle, never understood my plight.

Yes! I put my family in the spotlight

I was a Foster Care kid because of something that was done unto me,

NOT because of something that I did!

I know My Uncle thought I was strange.

I was shy, quiet and I kept to myself except when I was with my best friend.

I was not outspoken or living out loud like many of my cousins,

including my uncle's kids.

Mostly I went to school, to work so in those ways, I was a typical kid.

I didn't get into trouble, didn't smoke, drink or play with guns.

I went few places, paid my own way with clothes, prom and

my Senior Class Trip.

At 19, I had my first "serious" boyfriend, he was 23.

He was also my best friend!

A typical kid. I wish someone would have told My Uncle.

When I was at home, with my Gran,

I spent alot of time writing while up in my bedroom.

My Uncle did not understand my isolation nor

the poems and songs I was writing.

Out loud, those poems and songs I was writing, were what I was reading.

Even in self-induced isolation, I was doing something positive.

I was creating!

I wold walk through the house quietly singing melodies to myself.

Melodies that through my writing, were making a home in my mind.

Singing gave me peace!

My Uncle thought something was wrong with me instead.

NOW, I write songs that other people want to sing!

HEY UNCLE!

Do you still think there is something wrong with me?

My Uncle and I have not spoken much over the years.

I have been keeping away from the family, living my life,

and raising my kid.

When I do see my uncle, which is rare, I say "hello", but in his space

I do not step.

THIS, I do not dare!

When My Uncle said those horrible words to me

so long ago, my heart sank.

My heart has since risen up and grown strong again.

It healed from all sorts of wounds!

I am much better now!

I am healing.

I am also forgiving and understanding!

Understanding that sometimes though we can be cruel,

we often know not (really) what we are doing!

Who knows what life trials will help fulfill a unique and blessed destiny?

Even in the midst of many cruelties,

I was able by the grace of God, to rise to the challenge AND survive!

He is still, My Uncle!

BYE!

B.I.B.L.E.- Last 7 words of Jesus the Christ.

If you read last weeks, B.I.B.L.E article posted on "Resurrection Day", (Easter to many of you), April 4, 2010, then You know I asked a very important question.

I asked, "WHAT WERE THE LAST 7 WORDS JESUS SPOKE

just before he hung his head and died on the cross?

I said I'd be back with the answer, to give YOU time to find it! SO HERE YOU GO!

The answer is: (Drum roll please.....)

(FATHER);

"INTO YOUR HANDS, I COMMIT MY SPIRIT."

I also stated that that was important to know because many of us who proclaim the Lord as "the head of my life", don't give really give him that position!

Jesus committed his spirit to God. He trusted him with his life, COMPLETELY!

DO YOU?

Meetta's READERS

WELL, WELL, WELL!

I recently received a delightfully unique comment from the United Kingdom, no less!

This post is where I share your comments, people. So, keep them coming! YOU do have a voice, and here's where you can use it.

Column: TEEN SPEAK

Article: "Troubled Teens", part 2. Posted on 01/12/2010

Part 1 was posted on 01/10/2010

WordsPoeteticallyWorth,

From- Ellesmere Port, United Kingdom said;

"Very sound advice, maternally nice.

Your voice is a song.

To tumults of wrong,

That can be seen, if the eye is keen."

*You sound like a really nice person. Thank you. Take Care, Bye.

Meetta said-

Words Poetically, that is a gift. Thank you so much for sharing it with me, with all of us! Thank you for sharing your appreciation for that article, as well. Meetta

MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN-"The things Men Say!"

HELLOOOO READERS!

Men, Women and Children column speaks on issues that concern all groups! Relationships, family issues as well as issues concerning each gender as individuals. Forgive me for not writing much for this column since its introduction article on September 2, 2009.

(Check my archive section for that one) It's just that, trying to figure out what first to write about! It's so many pertinent issues concerning us all! So, with that in mind, let me begin as I have recently been inspired by an interesting subject that was brought up to me in conversation. I promise not to keep you waiting for this column like that again! Thanks for taking the time to read my posts!

The topic is: THE THINGS THAT MEN SAY!

And what should you do about it if they say it to you?

OY Vey!! First of all, THIS SUBJECT right here, had me really sad about the fact that I don't have a little sister. If I had one, I would pour everything that I have experienced about life, into her! Hopefully, to spare her some of the pain and hard lessons that I and some of my women friends have unfortunately had to face in our adult lives.

So, because I don't have a little sister, I pour all I know into those who come to talk to me about "stuff", holding back little and in the process, teaching and sparing some. Dear Reader, through my different columns, for the last few months, I have been pouring into you as you have allowed me, taking in what you needed and discarding the rest. Hopefully, I have been of some use.

Moving on. As a woman who have lived a full life up to this point, I can say that I have been in some interesting situations and conversations. As I am sure that you all have, as well. The thing is, I like to learn as well as share. Something came up though, with a buddy of mine, that caused me to listen and share! Regarding the topic of this article, my buddy was feeling pretty low because of what some guy said to her! She was digging the guy, pretty heavily and well, he decided to "reveal" something unsettling about himself that proved not to be conducive to her idea of this becoming a relationship. Well now, let me just tell you this, WITHOUT telling you anymore of her story! I'll share another experience with more detail.

This one will take you a little farther in this scenario, and the person who experienced this does not mind me sharing with you.

There was this guy that a close friend of mine was digging pretty heavily too and she thought he felt the same way! Then, after a great deal of time, this guy started "revealing" some unsettling stuff about himself too! Before I go any further...."WOMEN, let me say this to ya! When a man tells you something DEEP about himself...

PLEASE, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE....LISTEN!

LISTEN TO THE MAN! HEAR IT AND for Mercy's sake...

ACCEPT IT for what it is!!! It may not be the best thing to ignore it, depending on what he's saying! For example: If he is telling you things like,

"Look, I like you and all, but I really just want to get laid." HELLLOOOO! KNOCK, KNOCK, ANYBODY OUT THERE!

Sister Girls! This IS NOT a joke!

You need to LISTEN, HEAR, ACCEPT what the man is telling you!

Then make a decision accordingly to WHAT HE IS SAYING AND NOT

what you or your friends perceive! The guy is telling you what he wants!

You don't have to figure it out! What else do you need to know?

So, if you are not feeling that, and you want more from him,

SO SORRY, YOUR BUBBLE HAS JUST BEEN BURST!

So tighten up, square your shoulders and MOVE ON!

TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS BABY GIRL!

EVEN IF you really dig the guy, YOU CANT CHANGE HIM!

So Accept it or not! It's up to you!

Old School will tell you (By the way, OLD SCHOOL is older, wise people)...that

" A MAN WILL BE, WHAT A MAN WILL BE"....AND that is whatever he chooses! So, if he wants to be a dog....Let him be a dog somewhere else! That is...if that is not what you want!

Ladies, also please keep this in mind, "

That a man, upon first seeing you, IS NOT looking at your personality."

Getting to know people is just like a relationship, They both just take time!

Take your time, ladies! Take your time.

Here is another "By The way" moment...If a man can "get your cookies"...most times he will!

HE WILL "SHOPLIFT THE POOTY" IF YOU LET HIM!

There are SOME MEN ...

who will put a bag over an ugly woman's head to have sex with her!

They don't care if you are fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, or just attractive.

They don't care if you are old, young, married or not, or if HE'S married

or not!

They don't care about your Christian beliefs, Sisters!

A MAN WILL GET "SAVED", START GOING TO CHURCH, REGULARLY AND even become ....

....A MAN OF POSITION in the CHURCH....

OR USE his church position...JUST to get to you!

THERE ARE "wolves in sheep's clothing!"

Women, some men, A LOT of MEN, don't care whether you are employed, unemployed, rich or poor, it does not matter! If you got the goods and he's in the mood...It's on, Baby!

I am an adult woman who has lived a very full life, up to this point!

I also have told you in other articles, that I have grown up around men.

I have 4 older brothers and 6 uncles, my Moms brothers.

I have worked with many men AND I have taken public transportation for many years! I HAVE HEARD MANY, MANY MALE CONVERSATIONS! All of THAT is what qualifies me to say what I'm saying, in confidence because it is TRUTH!!!!

Now, your man may not have said the example line in the previous paragraph, so, depending on how you feel about him and what he said,

if you feel the need to question him, QUESTION HIM! Get the information you need out of him. Get to the bottom of it, If that's what YOU (not your friends, this is YOUR life!) need to do! Take a step back though in the meantime, taking everything into account. Decide whether you want to invest anymore of yourself into this person! In the meantime, may I suggest that you don't pour your pity all over him, treating him with kid gloves!

This is a GROWN MAN who you are in an adult relationship with!

Say, THANK YOU FOR SHARING and GO ON with your life!

At least until you figure things out for yourself!

PLEASE!!! TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT!

SISTER GIRLS, I'M BEGGING YA!

Because, if my friend had LISTENED, HEARD, ACCEPTED what this particular guy said AND MOVED ON from him...her life would not have included spending many months crying over him, questioning her decision making, beating herself up, experiencing low self-esteem issues, battling unnecessary loneliness and viewing all other men, like dirty,

low down, sack of....savage beasts! And all because of this guy! He told her things like,

" You're a nice girl, you don't want to be with me.

You think you do, but trust me, you don't." Instead, because women often times, don't know how to turn off that ever flowing faucet of compassion, that is running over in us, my friend had pity on the man because obviously he was was going through something! Having strong feelings by then, she couldn't see the truth and sincerity in what he was saying. Being a woman, a very loving, kind woman, she hung in there.

Time went on though and the bomb, that had been ticking on their relationship finally, with full impact, exploded and left her scrambling to pick up the pieces...alone. Her man, with whom she thought she would one day wed, had up and gone. The strange thing is, in his own way, he was trying to warn her. Yes! This very important bit of wisdom came to my friend after hind sight had visited her months after their relationship was over and dead!

Still, it came though, this very important piece of wisdom. That's the important thing along with my friends healing. And so now, my friend is much wiser! She also has learned, once again to be open to the possibility of relationships. Still, remembering though, ...

that when a man "reveals himself", it is best to

LISTEN, HEAR, ACCEPT and if need be.......MOVE ON!

While it is true that people in relationships say things for different reasons, perhaps out of fear that if you knew the real them, you wouldn't like them anyway, or whatever the situation is, Protecting yourself IS NOT a bad idea! Thinking The guy may just be scared of getting too serious may not be all it is! Just like the guy my friend dealt with, the guy may really be giving you a warning about what kind of guy "he really is",

NOT THE ONE FOR YOU!

Like I said, in the beginning...If I had a little sister, the the things I'd share with her!

So, for now, I guess I just have to tell you!

Til' next time Dear Reader,

From "Men, Women and Children",

This is Ms.Meetta, signing out!