MEETTA TALKS- HEALING WORDS, For My Family

Abuse was a very terrible part of my life! What is even more hurtful than the acts of abuse themselves, is the response of some of my relatives! Particularly, my mother's brothers and sisters. Their feelings even extended itself through some of their kids as well! That action was even harder to bear. Harder to bear because a chances of healthy relationships with their kids, , my cousins, were affected were being made nearly impossible too! That animosity had spilled over into our early adult years. To this day, I'm not close with any of them, really.

It's really sad.

Still, it has taken a GREAT DEAL of healing, forgiveness, weeping and strengthening to be able to move forward in my life. Gods word and his people (some of those that believe in him greatly) he sent in my life to nurture me, fight for me and stand by me. Unfortunately, my mothers family and I have never really been on the mend. Still to this day, many of them still have ill and mis-guided thoughts about what transpired int he midst of their family. I started writing about some of my experiences in 2002 as part of a book of poetry I was blessed to produce. Many people in the local area were very supportive and encouraging. I was told that that book helped open a door for healing in others and their families. Since then, from time to time, I will get asked for new books, that are coming out. Sometime in the near future, I. Still, though I am very grateful that my writings of my my life has helped mothers, I do have a desire. One of my hearts grand desires is that my words then and now, by the power of God will begin create a healing in my family as well!

At this time, as my family is still greatly in need of healing, I have once again been documenting my experiences and even offering my writings as a form of a healing exercise. Get it out, face it in it's nakedness, terror and truth! FACE IT! And facing it is the only way to deal with this, 'cause after all these years people are still hurting and being dis-illusioned by the abuse and the affects of it as it continues to eat away at family.

INSPIRATION STATION

MY UNCLE

By Meetta J. Martin

From her book "You Can't Say That!";

Poetry to Strengthen, Heal and Encourage~2002

I never forgot

when My Uncle

told me to my face that he thought I was crazy.

I was his niece!

See, this is what abuse surrounded by lies can do,

Rip a family completely apart and cause people to take sides, even against the victim!

My Uncle said I was a problem

and nothing I could ever do would change his point of view!

My heart sank.

HOW COULD MY UNCLE SAY SUCH A THING TO ME?

I thought, how could he feel that way?

What did I ever do to him?

What did I ever do to anyone in the family?

What did I do to anyone for that matter, to deserve my Uncle's wrath?

When it came to my abuse by 3 of my brothers and by my mother,

his sister,

My Uncle, never understood my plight.

Yes! I put my family in the spotlight

I was a Foster Care kid because of something that was done unto me,

NOT because of something that I did!

I know My Uncle thought I was strange.

I was shy, quiet and I kept to myself except when I was with my best friend.

I was not outspoken or living out loud like many of my cousins,

including my uncle's kids.

Mostly I went to school, to work so in those ways, I was a typical kid.

I didn't get into trouble, didn't smoke, drink or play with guns.

I went few places, paid my own way with clothes, prom and

my Senior Class Trip.

At 19, I had my first "serious" boyfriend, he was 23.

He was also my best friend!

A typical kid. I wish someone would have told My Uncle.

When I was at home, with my Gran,

I spent alot of time writing while up in my bedroom.

My Uncle did not understand my isolation nor

the poems and songs I was writing.

Out loud, those poems and songs I was writing, were what I was reading.

Even in self-induced isolation, I was doing something positive.

I was creating!

I wold walk through the house quietly singing melodies to myself.

Melodies that through my writing, were making a home in my mind.

Singing gave me peace!

My Uncle thought something was wrong with me instead.

NOW, I write songs that other people want to sing!

HEY UNCLE!

Do you still think there is something wrong with me?

My Uncle and I have not spoken much over the years.

I have been keeping away from the family, living my life,

and raising my kid.

When I do see my uncle, which is rare, I say "hello", but in his space

I do not step.

THIS, I do not dare!

When My Uncle said those horrible words to me

so long ago, my heart sank.

My heart has since risen up and grown strong again.

It healed from all sorts of wounds!

I am much better now!

I am healing.

I am also forgiving and understanding!

Understanding that sometimes though we can be cruel,

we often know not (really) what we are doing!

Who knows what life trials will help fulfill a unique and blessed destiny?

Even in the midst of many cruelties,

I was able by the grace of God, to rise to the challenge AND survive!

He is still, My Uncle!

BYE!