This is the 3rd part in a series on Rejection.
"When Relationships go awry, especially when kids are involved."
Of course...
...discussing the subject of rejection is necessary!
Rejection creates pain and situations that can add enormous burden to any heart, young or old, rich or poor, woman, man, boy or girl.
Rejection can have tremendous negative affects on a person's entire life, including everything from having an ability to establish and maintain positive relationships to self esteem.
AM I LOVED? AM I REALLY CARED FOR, CONCERNED ABOUT?
AM I DESERVING OF REAL LOVE? WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE REALLY LOVED?
WHO REALLY CARES WHETHER I LIVE OR DIE?
WHAT IS REAL LOVE?
WHAT DID I DO TO HAVE THIS HAPPEN TO ME? Is also a BIG question that comes up often to those traumatized by REJECTION.
READERS,
Consider my life for a moment! I was a Foster Care Kid which taught me the importance of having an extended family! In many situations, extended families are more necessary than the natural family! Anyway, I was in Foster Care because my parents could not get it together and they were married! I wasn't in there because I was a bad kid, BECAUSE I wasn't
a bad kid! I was in the system because I was an unfortunate casualty of
a broken home. My Dad, left MOM (US) when I was about 9 and it was hellish from that point on.
At 15 years old, the Court took me from my mother. No tears, please!
Her pain and suffering brought and caused SO MUCH PAIN and suffering into the lives of ALL her children! So, I was a child who was traumatized by an adult relationship going awry! I was fortunate in that I was rescued and lived to adulthood in the Foster Care system.
I had a good experience unlike many! See, I told you, NO TEARS, PLEASE!
GOD through those people, SAVED MY LIFE! At 31, I committed my life to him fully, though I was "Church Kid" since I was small. Pain of broken families, yeah! I would say, I'm an expert on that, because it happened to me!
So, I know what I am talking about!
The sad thing is, my family has never really healed.
Yeah! My mom went on, but not really. For all that that means. All of us kids just grew up! But for some of my siblings, life never got truly better!
Dear Reader, You need to know that that kind of pain, when relationships go awry, especially for the kids in question,
no matter how old they get, is REAL!
The kids, no matter what the age, get affected by what happens between the adults too!
Often times, the pain is greater for them, THE CHILD,
than it is for the adults! The problem solving ability and verbiage to express themselves is not yet matured in a child
of young age. So, how they handle things is MUCH DIFFERENTLY THAN ADULTS!
How the parents treat each other after the relationship is over, ALSO GREATLYaffects, shapes and molds the way that the kids grow to handle certain situations.
We need to think about that MOMS and DADS!!!
Who else needs to think about this and apply it to their lives is ...Mom and Dad's new mates as well! NEW MATES, THIS IS because your relationship with your mate,
(the child's parent), can greatly affect positively or negatively, the relationship with them and their child!
How YOU VIEW that child is another big influence!
My sons Dad's mate, initially DID NOT want my son around because..."She is jealous of him (our son) because he is yours and mine and NOT hers and mine".
"SHE SAID, that I should not keep buying him (our son) clothes...I should be putting that money into our (his and her) household! It is written as was told to me, by my sons Dad when our son was just 4 years old! Oh, I was told a few more things over the years of what "SHE, SAID", He should do! Like, "She said, ...You should be bringing him (our son) to me! I should not have to come pick him up..." She said, she said, she said...It was like he no longer had his own mind! He was not the man I KNEW him to be!
...Finding ways to reject his own child.
See, I was REALLY done with that mess!
I didn't know I had my child with him AND HER! I thought this was OUR son, his and mine! I couldn't talk to THE DAD without hearing her and her negative, defeating advice! How insecure can a person be that they have to hold a kid hostage to their inner turmoil?
So, the hard, lonely journey of raising our (my) son as
a single mother...continued.
This...kind of person, "THE SHE SAID"...
...is whom The Dad, has set up family and is still with!
It is right to say, that she has greatly influenced the way he views our son, even today! Nothing got better! There were other problems too, but she REALLY added to them!
She helped shaped, AND strengthened The Dad's rejection of our son.
People, BE CAREFUL...
OF WHAT MATE YOU CHOOSE, ESPECIALLY if YOUR kids are not THEIRS!
Know this..."The Household"...
extends to the other families you created!
It IS NOT who you are with presently or just whose living in your house at the time! ALL OF the children YOU make are and remain FOREVER, YOUR SEED! YOU, in GODS EYES and also the Court's eyes still have a natural responsibility for those children! Stop letting "fools" talk you out of your Godly and natural responsibility because when the time is at hand that you stand before God on your judgement day, THAT FOOL WILL NOT BE THERE to take action for YOUR accountability! YOU WILL BE STANDING ON YOUR OWN IN GODS PRESENCE and on THEIR day, that fool will have enough to account for on their own, too!
YOU WON'T be able to rescue them either!
Not to mention, the hassle that the courts will put you through including possible jail time of delinquent child support etc..HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THE COST?
What about the cost to the child? You leave with them a legacy of knowing their parent, their own blood, Dad / Mom,
DOES NOT CARE ABOUT THEM! Forsaking them for your own selfish gain. What really have you gained forsaking your child?
Is that dream life or dream mate you are have, REALLY worth the price that your child and you pay? Is it really worth it to lose your child's trust and respect, and the pain they have to deal with? Have you considered the cost, the price for your abandonment of your child?
THANK YOU READER,
Please STAY TUNED for the final entry to this series
on REJECTION.
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