"Though we are not related, nor have we met,
but we are all connected by humanity, no matter what our Race, Creed or Culture."~ Meetta J. Martin
In this column, I share with you words of encouragement through personal experiences of my own as well as from others close to me. The hope is that you may be encouraged by and grow from these stories. Many of the things, you may have already experienced. Hopefully, you too will find inspiration and solace in my writings. If you read something that inspires you and you have a google account, feel free to comment on this site or you can contact me by e-mail. My e-mail address is in the heading of this page.
Sister Girls, it's been a long time since we last had our chat. I believe the last one was around Mothers' day. And I apologize for not keeping up. So much has happened. Funny thing is, I can't even remember it all! It's amazing how things seem SOOOO IMPORTANT when they are happening and when they are over, I've seem to have forgotten what all the hoopla was about! I can tell you this though, the subject matter of men and women has come up a few times during these last few months and I have something to share with you. First, you should know that I am one of those women that has learned a lot from her experiences and I don't take them lightly. I defend the woman. WOMEN ARE VALUABLE AND SPECIAL AND WE SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH! Unfortunately though, many of us women don't know our own worth! Sometimes, I am so strong in my opinion that I have irritated people, usually men, and dependent women because they can't separate me from my strong beliefs on this subject. If I think a lesson is worthwhile, being helpful to someone as in this case of self-esteem, no matter how controversial, I will share it!
I've learned a lot in my life of being a single woman, never married and over the age of 40. I've been challenged a great deal, especially when it comes to how I have been viewed! I've had to be strong, an independent thinker, self-motivator, multi-tasker, bill payer, head-of household, including being my sons primary source for guidance, direction and nurturing, provision, a confidant, and yes the disciplinarian. Raising a boy to be a man as woman alone and on my own most of the time, its been a tough road!
Many people in the past, have expressed concern (And hope) for me to be found by that one special person who comes and changes my life for the better with "True" Friendship, undeniable Love, acceptance, support and then marriage. But you know, I don't how that will happen, but hey I'm open! In the meantime though, still finding contentment in my life as it is. Also still striving to BE BETTER, do better and go after those thing I REALLY want and see myself doing. Even if no one else does! In light of this, Ladies I want to share this piece of wisdom that never grows old for me.
..."Don't look for YOUR joy or happiness in anyone else! Don't seek nor allow another person be the primary source for these things for you! Be content with yourself first!" If someone special comes into your life, (a mate, or a new friend for example) their job is to ADD to your life. They are to add positivity to the positive way you already view yourself and what's happening in your life. They are not to be the primary source for your happiness!
Don't allow yourself to become dependent on someone else to provide that for you! That's a tough job, a heavy burden that no one has the ability to perform successfully without a great deal of pain. Putting your complete happiness in someone else and expecting them to be responsible for you in this way, is not fair to them! Besides, you can't control people! And if you try, you are only asking for trouble. We each have our own minds! We're human and humans are flawed! We often let each other down by either the choices we make, things we say or do!
FIND CONTENTMENT IN YOUR OWN LIFE! Then, that which you desire will be attracted to that light! Usually, no one who is healthy of mind, self-esteem and character, is going to want an emotionally dependent person, primarily relying on them for joy, happiness or completion. I've personally been on both sides of that situation. When I was more dependent and less self assured, (back in the day) I got my feelings hurt! As I begun to grow more self assured and finding Joy for myself, I ran into the problem of weak men looking to hook up with me because they admired my strength! They said things like, "If I had a strong woman like you, I would be a better man. I would be alright. I would be able to achieve things." My response would be, "Why can't you become a better man, be alright and go achieve things before you talk to me? No productive woman who cares about herself and trying to achieve things is going to want a dependent, clingy man dragging her down." And Women, that's the way a lot of men think too! I said it once already, twice I think, Now I'll say it again,
"BE CONTENT WITH SELF, FIRST!"
THANKS FOR READING "
"FOR WOMEN ONLY."
No comments:
Post a Comment