MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN - My Son Respects ME!

Hello, Dear Readers!

Missed me?

How is your summer going? I hope it is well.

Mine has been busy and has caused for alto for adjusting.

But things are GRAND! Life is good!

I have something new to share with you all. It's about time right? I know.

THIS STATEMENT I POSTED ON FACEBOOK A DAY OR SO AGO, has actually inspired a whole lot of dialogue. I hope you get a chance to read this"

My son said, "Mom I respect U as a person & as a mother. People R as strong as their weaknesses. U operate in strength. I say this in love... truthfully, U scare the hell out of me! A little bit like I'm scared of God. He loves me & U love me... I still remember when I said something (bad) 2 U & was walking out of the apt., U pulled me back, grabbed me, hulking me & put me in a headlock until I listened." :)

That's right, a healthy fear!

A fear bred out of knowing you are loved, cared for, provided for, nurtured, listened to and forgiven. Causing one to recognize and respect authority and the law. Encouraging strength, sharing wisdom and knowledge to arm ones self with so that they may have, seek and seize better opportunities to grow, live a successful, purposed life! Building hope that the child or person may move to a high standard of living, based on morals and integrity and provide guidance to hopefully carry them through this life as safely as possible! Understanding, the fear I speak of is the kind of fear that comes out of a genuine love that comes to prosper and not to harm. A love that promises to give hope and a future. Amen?

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NEW DIALOGUE

I knew the dreaded day would come, when my sweet teenage son would want to assert himself in independence and I would have to muster the courage and stamina to rise to the occasion to make sure it didn't get out of hand with disrespect of me, my house and himself.

This included laying down and upholding the law, of voicing your thoughts and opinions, but no rudeness, back talking, hanging out in the streets with the bad crowds, making babies you are not prepared to take care of, having girls in his room AT MY HOUSE, coming home all times of night, having a know it all smart mouth, telling me what to do (like he's my Dad,) sort of thing. This is the the time in a boys life that "old school" calls, "when a boy starts to smell himself". Puberty has struck and hormones start to influence the the mouth and actions.

A single mother, without ANY STEADY, right help from a loving male... I was left to raise a boy to be a man, on my own. Like many of you! he's 20 now, but I knew the day would come when my then, teenage son would want to assert himself and end up being disrespectful. It was VERY TOUGH! I realized, I couldn't answer every question he had concerning being a male, what he would go through as his body and mind changed, why he had to pee while he stood and why I had to sit. (He asked me the when he was 4 or 5). I realized I had to come form a different angle, if I wanted to be a proactive parent to him as I was the only one he had! I had to figure things out in order to do a fairly decent job of being a mother. Believe me, it was quite a struggle as I dint' have mother I could take ALL knowledge from to help me figure out how to do that!

I realized I COULD NOT TEACH HIM how to be a man, per say, but I realized I COULD and DID TEACH HIM how to properly treat women, and other human beings, how to say NO TO DRUGS, CRIME AND PEER PRESSURE and why that is important. I could teach him that HE IS BEAUTIFUL, special in confidence, not arrogance and that he is ALREADY SOMEBODY!

I could and did teach my male child how A True GENTLEMAN

TREATS WOMEN. That such a man, does not take sex from a woman. He does not seek to dominate a woman, but to accept her for her own distinctive beauty, gifts, talents, and personality. My son KNOWS there is MUCH MORE to a woman than just her outer exterior. He's had the fortune and misfortune of watching me!

He knows not that women are not play things, The pain he may cause by dragging her self esteem, her heart, and reputation through the mud.He understands that REAL MEN do NOT beat, humiliate or destroy ANY WOMAN women or the weak for sport. He's watched certain males in the family and the continuos deep trouble they have caused by their mistreatment of their families and mates!He understands that REAL MEN, take care of those they love! Taking care of their children even if they are not living in the same home!My son understands the pain of abandonment by a parent. He had vowed not to repeat it!

My son knows from my abusive treatment as a child and youth, that brothers protect their sisters and not harm them! I've taught him that a true gentleman and mature adult male, DOES NOT brag or tell "his boys" about the intimate relationship details of his personal life with his girlfriend or wife. I've also taught him NOT TO LET females drag him down, manipulate him or abuse him in any way! I've told him how WE females can be as well!

My son and I, have spoke many times over the years, a mans place in his household and in the world. While it is true that I could not teach my son to be a man, from a man's point of view, I've done my best other wise!

At least my son understands the value of respecting human life, authority and the law. I could and did teach him how to be a decent, respectable, God fearing, intelligent, productive, loving and compassionate human being. I realized I could pass on my strength, wisdom through LIFE LESSONS lessons opening his eyes, HAVING NO USE FOR ROSE COLORED GLASSES, but to see things as they are really happening, to be knowing, vocal and courageous. I leaned to appreciate the gift of communication with my son. AND TO KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN, even when my son tells me something I really don't want to hear! See, if I value him, then I value his thoughts!

I've given my son and opened my son up to knowledge to cause him to be a responsible, person. He knows how to grocery shop (wisely), pay bills, by having him go get the money orders, and pay the landlord, send to DTE etc. He knows about saving money. He's learned how to dress appropriately and speak to people in business, to get his point across and not be cussing, using alot of slang or being belligerent! He's learned how not to let those same people mistreat him as a customer and human being. I've taught him how to apply for jobs, speak to potential employers, how to conduct himself in an interview and on the job. How to interview the potential employer! After all, employment, is both give and take!

TALK TO YA AGAIN SOON!

Meetta

MEETTA TALKS- IS HE DYING?

WHY?

WHY NOW?

IS HE DYING?

This is what I asked my mother today, when she told me, that one of my uncles, told her he wants to bond with my 19 year old son. Said he asked her about the relationship between my son and his Dad. That he (my uncle) wanted to form a relationship with my son.

I THOUGHT WHY? WHY NOW?

See, my family has not been close for some...tough reasons. Many of which I have openly shared with you thus far. It's not like my uncle just met my son. He's known about him ALL OF HIS LIFE! Most of my family members on my Mom's side, have all lived in the same city, not more than a half hour driving from each other all of this time! He's never made an effort before to get to know my son, his great nephew! NONE OF MY UNCLES HAVE! At least they never said anything to me about it! They may have told my Aunts or my mother, but they newver talked to me about it! I AM the mother you know!

So I was wondering, what gives?

Upon first hearing this from my mother, I WAS ANGERED. Yes! I was.

My uncle and I have never really had a bond either! Because of the abuse that was done to me, by my mother and 3 of my brothers when I was a kid, that made me an outcast in my family.

I felt like one of the untouchables.

Rather than get involved while it was going on, they ignored it, gossipped about it and went on with their lives! BUT as time went on, so many untruths and ignorance about it spread so deep within my family that, I never really got a chance to get to know anybody. They never really got to know me, but that did not stop their negative perception of me! This particular uncle, along with my Grandmother and many others, never investigated! They took a hands-off position. But they judged me still.

And I was the victim!

This one uncle, even said in my presence, several years ago said about the abuse, "I don't believe it." WHY? is my question! He never asked me! He never called a family meeting (NOBODY DID!) to get my abusers between a rock and a hard place until the truth was out! HE NEVER ASKED ME! And he never made me feel like I could tell him. I never saw any compassion! But I did hear the rumors, whispers and the talk amongst them. Many times, they said things in my presence or in the other room or at a family BBQ!

I hated being around them! I hated how cruel they could be in their words. I hated that I was so desperate to get to know them. I was so desperate not to continue to feel isolated and alone, in such a big family! My Moms mother had 9 children in all and they have children who also have children. You get the point, I know! My uncle and I very rarely see each other. I hardly see any of them really! Aunts, uncles and cousins. Family secrets can do that to a family...create division. I was a family secret because of the lack of knowledge and truth about my abuse.

Anyway, this uncle also talks to me as if I'm stupid or challenged in some way, when we have spoken. The last time we spoke, was at family birthday celebration last month. He abruptly ended our conversation and moved quickly away from me. I felt so much like I wanted to leave! So tired of different treatment, even after all of these years.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! ABUSE WAS DONE TO ME! So why am I still the one paying for it?

Though, I wanted to leave (plus, my mother and one of my molesters, my brother) was there. I didn't leave, because I was NOT going to give them any power over me, continuing to divide the family. (The major reason, I talk to my mother and on occasion spend time with her, is because I had to make my peace with God about her.) "Honor thy Mother and thy Father, so that your days may be long upon this earth. ) God also commands us, to "forgive", releasing the offender from the offense. That's it, really! I'M AFRAID OF GOD!

And I want to receive his promises!

The minor reason I didn't leave because I have 4 favorite cousins that was expected to come.

I hadn't seen them in a while. I didn't want to miss them that night.

With the rest though, I NEVER FEEL comfortable being around many of them. I used to try to get to spend time and call them. I stopped several years ago really. All but one Aunt do I still call from time to time. Even she asks me questions about my abuse to try and understand. At least I think that's what she';s doing! BUT NO ONE ELSE ever really asked. Not even this particular uncle.

It angered me that HE wanted to bond with MY SON. WHY?

I have not had the chance to ask him, but I will. It just seems ...why now after 19 years of knowing my son existed AND was close by. It shouldn't matter whether my sons Dad is in his life or not! You're his uncle, his GREAT UNCLE, at that! Why was my son not so important while he was growing?

If my uncle thinks I'm strange or something, ( he apparently thinks something of his awkward treatment of me) why would he want to be bothered with my kid?

I don't trust my family. They haven't given me anything to trust!

When I tried to reach out the them, they really didn't reach back! Including this uncle!

SO WHY NOW?

Uncle probably won't like it when I ask him, BUT THAT'S MY SON we're talking about and I will protect him. My uncle's tough, but he doesn't know how tough I am too! I don't back down too easy. I've had a tough life and I'm not taking anymore crap off of anybody else ESPECIALLY THOSE IN MY FAMILY! Members of my family are the ones, who have hurt me the most!

"Where have you been Unc all this time?" I will ask.

I will stand my ground waiting for an answer and will guard my son, until I feel at ease with this situation. Again, if you don't like me or respect me, why he wants to hang around my kid, I have no idea! But I will find out, if he comes around. My uncle seems like he could be a cool guy, but like I said, I never really got to know him! Even though he was around when I grew up. But I don't what kind of lifestyle he lives! I don't know who he lived it with! I don't know what he's into! I'm a Christian, a True Believer in Christ. When I mentioned my belief system to my uncle at that last family gathering, he seemed quite uninterested. But my son is raised in the same belief system as I! Meaning, he is concerned about his "relationship" with Christ, biblical principle, character, purpose and destiny.

Anyway,...You know.. I just wonder, why after 19 years, of living in the same city, why now?

I just don't get it! About my uncle,

"Is he dying?" I asked my mother.

I don't know when I'll get the chance to ask my uncle these questions I have. But at least my son and I have talked about this. My son wants to bond with some of the family because being my son, meant he was isolated too. I didn't' want him growing up, listening to their hurtful things surrounding my life, like I did when they talked about my mother. I would not let them hurt him that way. But now I will let him decide for himself, but I will still speak up

when I have to! My son and I talk often. We are very close. After talking with him about what our uncle wants with him, tonight my son said to me, "I understand why you are skeptical. I do." He is a very smart and watchful young man. Uncle doesn't really know that about him!

Thank you, Dear Reader, for once again coming on my life's journey with me. This is what this column is about...My life's journey."

HOPE YOU GOT SOMETHING OUT OF THIS TONIGHT!

Meetta

B.I.B.L.E.-SALVATION, Pt. 2-FootNotes

Hey there and welcome back to...

Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth.

Last week, we started talking about Salvation and why it is important. The bible says that salvation, is necessary to enter "the Kingdom of God". We will also talk about Spiritual Rebirth, the Holy Trinity and The Holy Spirit. You also need to have faith, which WE ALL HAVE! Everyone is given "a measure of faith", a certain amount of it upon your creation. It is up to you to "grow in faith" in God. You do this with knowledge and experiencing our Lord in your life. Taking note of "heavenly " experiences in other people's lives, through their testimony is another way to grow as well, but it's nothing like having your own personal experiences to grow as proof to grow you!

So, the scriptures I wrote about last time were...

John chapter 3 verses 1-15. Regular B.I.B.L.E. Readers, you already know by now that I use ...

A Life Application Study Bible, N.I.V. (New International Version), but I have to say it for the new readers who are joining us so they will know where I'm getting my information. I also own and use a King James version, for verification. My son, talks to me about reading the biblical scrolls that were written. That would be SO COOL, if we could! Would we even understand them? It would be so amazing to find out! Anyway, gotta pull it together. I do like learning more about the things I am passionate about. Let's move on though.

OK! So last week, I actually wrote out the verses. I wont' do it again this week because it's just so much. I'll leave it up to you to read from your bible or go back and pull that article up so yo can read it from there. What I am going to do is write out relevant foot notes. If necessary, I will add a few discussion points of my own. In the meantime, ALWAYS FEELS FREE TO WRITE ME letting me know your thoughts about what you have read. Just click on the pencil or the word comment at the end of this article. I read them all and I also post the comments for everyone else to read, using discretion, of course.

Relevant FOOTNOTES;

These footnotes are a breakdown of someone else's thoughts about what they think the verses mean.

*Always Reader, use more sources than what I'm providing, to get a "true Understanding".

Perhaps you may want to join a Bible Study Group to aid in your understanding. Bible Study Groups are more intimate and you can ask questions. Without stopping the regular church services.

From Life Application Study bible: N.I.V.

Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Wheaton, Illinois

JOHN-3.1-15

(Todays Footnotes contain only verses 1 through 6)

Verse 1

"Nicodemus was a Pharisee and a member of the ruling council ( called the high council, or the Sanhedrin)). The Pharisees were a group of religious leaders whom Jesus and John the Baptist often criticized for being hypocrites (See also Matthew chapter 3 verse 7 for more on Pharisees) . Most pharisees were intensely jealous of Jesus because he undermined their authority and challenged their views. But Nicodemus was searching, and he believed that Jesus had some answers. A learned scholar himself, he came to Jesus to be taught. No matter how intelligent and well educated you are, you must come to Jesus with an so pen mind and heart so he can teach you the truth about God.

Nicodemus cam e to Jesus personally, although he could have sent one of his assistants. He wanted to examine Jesus for himself to separate fact for m rumor. (I love that part!) Perhaps Nicodemus was afraid of what his peers, the Pharisees, would say about his visit, so he came after dark. Perhaps! Later when he understood that Jesus was truly the Messiah, he spoke up boldly in his defense (John ch.7:verses 50, 51). Like Nicodemus, we must examine Jesus for ourselves-others cannot do it for us. Then, if we believe he is who he says, we will want to speak up for him.

Verse 3

What did Nicodemus know about the kingdom? From the Bible, he knew it would be ruled by God, it would be restored on earth, and it would incorporate God's people. Jesus revealed to this devout Pharisee that the kingdom would come to the whole world (Ch.3verse16), not just the Jews, and that Nicodemus wouldn't be a part of it unless he was personally born again (Ch.3 verse5). This was a revolutionary concept; the kingdom is personal, not national or ethnic, and its entrance requirements are REPENTANCE and SPIRITUAL REBIRTH. Jesus later taught that God's kingdom has already begun in the hearts f believers (Luke ch. 1 verse 21). It will truly be realized when Jesus returns again to judge the wolds and abolish evil forever (Revelation ch. 21 verse 22).

Verses 5 & 6

"Born of water and the spirit" could refer to (1) the contrast between physical birth (water) and spiritual birth (Spirit), or (2) being regenerated by the Spirit and signifying that rebirth by Christian baptism. The water may also represent the cleansing action of God's Holy Spirit (Titus ch.3 verse 5). Nicodemus undoubtedly would have been familiar with Gods promise in Ezekiel ch 36 verses 25, 26, Jesus was explaining the importance of a spiritual rebirth, saying that people don't enter the kingdom by living a better life, but by being spiritually reborn.

Verse 6

WHO IS THE HOLY SPIRIT? God is three persons in one-The Father, the son, and the Holy Spirit, (The Holy Trinity). God became a man in Jesus so that Jesus could die for our sins. Jesus rose from the dead to offer Salvation to all people through spiritual renewal and rebirth. When Jesus ascended into heaven, his physical presence left the earth, but he promises to send the Holy spirit so that his spiritual presence would still be among mankind(see Luke ch. 24 verse 49). The Holy spirit first became available to ALL believers at Pentecost (Acts chapter 2). whereas in Old Testament days the Holy Spirit empowered specific individuals for specific purposes, now all believers have the power of the Holy Spirit available to them. For more on the Holy Spirit, read John Ch. 14 verses 16-28;

Romans chps. 8 & 9 and 1st Corinthians ch. 12 verse 13 and 2cd Corinthians ch.1 verse 22.

Be back soon for more on Salvation...

with Footnotes on John 3: 7-15

(John chapter 3 verses 7-15).

See ya! Meetta