READERS,
Here is my final entry for this particular series, though it is not my final thoughts on Rumors and Gossip! So you may see this subject brought up again, considering how damaging "ugly talk" can be. Whether you are the one spreading or even listening to it, rumors and gossip have always found a way to damage some one's livelihood, reputation, and even broken trust. Gossip and rumors spreaders have created tension in the workplace, church and the home. Their "misery" and "Ugly Talk" has tested patience and interrupted peace of mind,and even caused broken relationships of all kinds, maybe even some of their own! I personally do not enjoy being around "Ugly Talkers" because of the problems that it often times causes. No matter who it is or what position they hold. have Ugly Talkers in my family!
Back to the business at hand.
Though, I try not to take it personal, I have to admit and tell you that as of late,
the rumor mill has changed my perspective about people.
I have heard some doozies spread about myself!
YEP! I'm about to bust at least one rumor wide open to give you an idea of what I have had to contend with, even at work! I told you, this stuff follows you EVERYWHERE! One day, I was in another department taking care of some business and one of the workers walked right over to me and said to the others working there that
"I heard Meetta does'nt have any food at her house" and she burst out laughing! WHAT? HOLD UP! I WAS STUNNED!!!
Where IN THE H....HAM SANDWICH did that come from!
And WHO THE H...Ham Sandwich is she to spread such a thing!
After I got over my initial shock, my brain started thinking. It's not true! but IF SHE THOUGHT it was true...,WHY IS SHE LAUGHING rather pulling me aside to VERIFY or CLARIFY OR offer to lend a helping hand if she was in the position to do so??? If not, why bother to say anything? BECAUSE...there are people who take pleasure in other people problems. It takes their minds off of their own! Whether it's true or not...dirt fills up holes in pathetic lives, I tell you!!
Tsk.Tsk. Tsk.
See people, this is my point, Rumor and Gossip spreaders are a bunch of ...
...SAD, MISERABLE....PEOPLE!
For shame I tell you! For shame, for adults to carry on this way!
It didn't stop there! For a while, certain people would see me in the break room and point me out. A cleaning lady, sitting at the next table from me, looked right at me and told her lunch partners "I heard she don't have any food at home that's why she's not eating much." Then, all of them turned and looked at me too. Now I could have gone off and said something, but I thought it best not to because it would not have been nice and just my luck I would have probably gotten disciplined by my boss. Sometimes, it's just not worth it. Still, Other things that occurred around the same time included, certain people coming up to me in the lunch room offering me food. It was humiliating! Though some of them may have been acting in compassion, it was still humiliating because I know it came from ugly talk and not something
I divulged to ANYONE of them, because I DIDN'T NEED THAT KIND OF HELP!!!!
The funny thing, I don't remember any of them asking me if something was wrong! In fact, it's no secret amongst those who have worked closely with me that I have in the past experienced a great deal of stomach trouble. I won't divulge what it is, but for a while I could not and did not want to eat very much because it just caused me problems. The pain would wake me up in the middle of the night. I didn't sleep very well for along time and I must have looked horrible! In fact, I left early one day last year in part because of it! Still, at the time, none of those rumor spreaders cared to find out anything else other than what they thought they knew!
Because of things like that, (People who aren't really knowing) there are people on the job who still talk to me in a poor person mind set. They have spoken to me as if I am less than the human that I am, without much to give, as I have to given of myself there. Case in point: Someone I had spoken to about some future goals I had set for myself said to my face "Well, none of us are ever going to be what we really want to be!" Then he laughed. What was funny about that? I didn't get it and needless to say, I have not gone back to that person to speak on anything, Although I am polite when I see him. That defeated attitude may work for him, but I don't accept it for myself!
Even as recent as two days ago something else happened! My job was having a special employee sale of some of it's in-house items and I had just come into work and decided to go back to the sale, as I had been there the day before I had purchased some items for a co-worker who was working during the sale, as well as for myself. But, as I prepared to go back to the sale one of my co-workers said to me, "You have to have money to go there". I asked her, "What did you say?" Without blinking, she said it again, "You have to have money to go there."
I thought, WOWWWWW! No kidding! You mean to tell me that
YOU HAVE TO MONEY TO PURCHASE SOMETHING!!!!!
OH! MY GOSH! I SHOULD HAVE THANKED HER FOR TELLING ME!
Without her, where would I be?
SHE JUST OPENED UP MY WORLD WITH NEW KNOWLEDGE!!
Please note: That was really insane and unfeeling.
THE OTHER REEAALLLY INSANE part about it is, MOST of these people I work with, don't make over $10.00 an hour and they are PART-TIME! AND they are coming to work just like I am.
SO, WHAT in the ...H...am...?
If you don't need the money like everybody else who works...
STAY HOME or GO DO SOMETHING, SOMEWHERE ELSE!
Just STOP BOTHERING the rest of us! Stop bothering ME!
Wanna know something else?
Ugly Talk does really DOES affect relationships and how we view and treat people.
In my case, it also doesn't help that I take the bus to and from work!
By the way, you don't have to be poor to ride a bus! I ride the bus with lawyers, teachers, city workers, business people. I have ridden it so much that I have noticed that sometimes conversations form with other riders. Heck, why not! Anyway, people ride the bus for different reasons. While it is true some can't afford cars or the maintenance of them, some don't prefer to drive in the city, other have vehicles in repair etc.. The list goes on and on!
While I have not changed who I am in kindness, (Hey! I'm still polite!)
I have matured some more because of ugly talk. I no longer find it necessary to "pretend" to like people who I KNOW have spread and said ugly things about me or people I know, whether I like the people they are talking about or not! While I still am polite and will greet the rumor and gossip millers (usually quite briefly), I do not put on airs of smiling at them as if I enjoy being in their presence! Instead I greet them with this in mind...I recognize them for the human beings that they are and respect THAT PART about them! GOD must have seen something in their spirits to ALLOW them to be born, just like he did with me. So, who am I to judge?
I understand that I, myself am far from perfect. Still, there are some things that we don't have to put up with about each other.
So, I just guard myself when I am around people who divulge in "ugly talk", take note of MYbehavior and act as maturely as I can! When you know better, you are more likely to DO BETTER! At least that's what works for me! It also helps to have people in your life who will keep YOU IN CHECK! AND THESE ARE MY FINAL THOUGHTS ON THIS SUBJECT...for now!
Thanks for reading, Yes! It is good to get it out!
Please share this blog series on Rumors. There are some other things to think about as well. Hopefully something can be learned!
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