Men, Women & Children - Happiness & You

"Ever since JOY heard your name,

it has been running through the streets trying to find you."

MEETTA'S READERS - YOUR CONCERN FOR ME

HELLO READERS!

Some of you are very caring and open with your concern for me. I appreciate you.

You have expressed your concern, in light of what I have been moved to share on this site in a variety of Biblical Scriptures, personal stories and poems over the years. Some of you have shown great compassion by saying

"Be careful Meetta, Be careful in what you write and share."

You have said this "because people can be cruel. And somebody, somewhere, in their misery is always lurking about to take something of someone else's and use it against them, even that which is meant for good purposes."

I SAY IN RESPONSE:

THANK YOU Dear readers and friends. Those of you who have taken the time to share your compassion with me. But please do not think me unwise for being bold and courageous enough to use some of my own life to empower others. I have "wise counsel". I have used and will continue to use great wisdom and discernment with what I share. I am not a babe just born and stumbling through this life. If there is something I don't have a peace about sharing, I won't. If there is something I have written and need to retract, I will retract it.

As far as the personal stories I share, I have spent my whole childhood and young adult years living in shame because of what someone else did and said. It had control of me. But I've come to learn over the course of my life, "Whom the Lord sets free is free indeed". Concerned Reader, I WILL NOT LET THE MISERY OF OTHERS PUT ME IN THOSE CHAINS AGAIN!

By the same token, If someone takes ANYTHING I say here, and try and use it against me, then the battle becomes between them and the Lord Jesus Christ! I am a Christ Child. I am a believer and follower of Christ Jesus, even in and because of, all my flaws. But I am striving. The bottom line is, I have accepted Jesus as the Lord of my life. I have put my life into his hands. So for that, He will "raise up a standard against the enemy" on my behalf. Lord! May God help them, because what I share, is for the purpose of building others up and that they may have Godly peace and healing in their lives. It is my hope that they use what they read here, in my life stories and come to know Jesus and God for themselves! So, if someone comes against me for righteousness sake, then the Lord will protect me. Just as he has protected me all these years from letting the ways of this world destroy me.

It was determined for my life, by the Grace of God, that not only should I survive the madness that was bestowed against me, but that I should become a victor over it! Not only for my benefit, but to the benefit of others and ultimately to the glory of God. I thank God for his new mercies and protection by acknowledging him openly, through sharing my stories and strength. So, I say Again...

I will not let the misery of others determine the direction of my life.

But I hear you all!

"People will gossip, even whisper behind your back discussing you!". As it has been both told to me and something I've experienced for myself. They will even go so far as to sneak around you to find out more about you to talk about! I've dealt with that before too!

For example, someone at work who was nosey like that was lurking around me and a buddy during a lunchtime conversation. This person just kept easing around us trying to hear what they could hear. Knowing full well they didn't care about either one of us otherwise! People do that kind of stuff all the time!

Some people even get to the point that they end up putting alot of energy into you andyour stuff! Even reveling in your pain and misfortune. Sometimes I get frustrated about why some people don't get that they can experience the same healing power and freedom that Jesus promises and continues to perform in others lives! Gods power can out weigh any problem or stronghold that you have.

But Misery...loves company and it doesn't care who it uses to get that company! And it's never satisfied. So it keeps seeking. It's fights back hard, fooling people into thinking they are OK! That they don't have to change because the problem is not with them! That the problem is

with everybody else! Which is all a lie, because not one person on this earth is completely free of flaws and things that cannot be made better in them! Nevertheless,

In spite of and despite misery's attacks, I will press on in the work encouraging on my blog site. And f

or the sake of easing your mind with the purpose of sharing like I do here, with you all, please read the following.

Acts 4 :3-4

"They seized Peter and John, and because it was evening, they put them in jail until the next day. But many who heard the message believed and the number of men grew to about five thousand."

FOOTNOTES

ACTS 4:3-4

"Seldom will sharing the gospel send us to jail as it did Peter and John. Still, we run the risk in trying to win others to Christ. We might be willing to face a night in jail if it would bring 5,000 people to Christ, but shouldn't we also be willing to suffer for the sake of even one?

What do you risk in witnessing--Rejections, persecution?

Whatever the risks, realize that nothing done for God is ever wasted."

I love you Dear Readers for your concern.

It brings Joy to my heart, a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.

THANK YOU ever so much!

May the Peace and Grace of God be forever upon you!

May he honor your concern, for even me.

Meetta J. Martin

True Believer-What is Wisdom? Pt. 1

Dear Readers,

My beloved, "seasoned", brothers and sisters in Christ. This column is for you, those who have already received Christ, seek God's word and already living a life in Christ for some time now. No doubt you have experienced (hearing the "voice" of) God, or have felt his presence in your situations. You know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that JESUS REIGNS and that GOD IS REAL! You have matured in him and are different (for the better) because of him! You are what I call a "seasoned" Christian, a "True Believer." I am once again on a mission to show you, to show us all, that though we drew near to Christ as he first drew near to us and have received his gift of Salvation... that we are still to CONTINUE TO BE diligent in our growth in him, as opposed to growth for self. We can't allow ourselves to be the captain of us! It's not enough to just say "Jesus is the head of my life and the Captain of my soul". It is equally, if not more important, to live it and if done in TRUTH, others will see for themselves what we truly are!

We must not ever get arrogant in our faith, so much so, that we think we "already know enough", "have done enough". What ever level in Christ you have reached, it's never high enough! There is always more the word of God is willing to teach us, as long as we are willing to learn. It doesn't even matter if you've been a Christ follower for many, many years. You shouldn't get too comfortable in where you are in your faith. Problems, dreams and hopes get bigger and bigger. They don't stay the same size and neither should your knowledge of God and especially not your faith!

Don't get to constricted by your own ideas of what a "True Believer", should be about. You won't be rewarded by God just for your "good works" and hospitality even unto the poor if your character, your heart and attitude about doing such things don't line up with the word of God and the teachings of Jesus The Christ, who is our Lord AND Savior. Don't be the one God calls a fool!

There are several components involved in helping to achieve a True believer mentality. These components will help you achieve a "Christ-like" way of being that will lead ultimately to the pleasing of God. We will start with wisdom as you are a believer already, which means you have accepted Jesus' invitation into your life, first receiving his gift of Salvation protecting your eternal life as well as your natural one. We will start with wisdom. Many of us have not yet fully come to understand Wisdom's powerful purpose for which God intended her.

SCRIPTURE

(LIFE APPLICATION STUDY BIBLE

N.I.V.~NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION)

Tyndale House Publishers

Proverbs 8:14-21

"Counsel and sound judgement are mine;

I have understanding and power.

By me kings reign and rulers make laws that are just;

by me, princes govern, and all nobles who rule on earth.

I love those who seek me, find me.

With me are riches and honor, enduring wealth and prosperity.

My fruit is better than fine gold;

What I yield surpasses choice silver.

I walk in the way of righteousness, along the paths of justice,

bestowing wealthy on those who love me and make their treasuries full."

Readers, it is important to remember that God is a living" God. Jesus still reigns in the earth and The Holy Spirit still is available and dwelling amongst us, waiting to dwell in us. God IS the beginning and the end, Alpha and Omega. The earth and heavens will pass away before one word of Gods will. He is forever among us and chooses to continue to bestow his gifts of Grace and Mercy upon us. But they don't travel alone! Wisdom has always been present and Understanding both, continue to reside and are available to us, and work diligently on our behalf while working in us, if we are open. We just need to "listen" to them.

MORE ON WISDOM, just below this column in...

..."TRUE BELIEVER."

KEEP GROWING!

MEETTA

MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN- "BUT, I'M OVER 40!"

IN THIS WORLD,

there are SO many women who are single, never been married, aren't in a relationship...and they want to be! Unfortunately, this also applies to me! My age and lack of suitable prospects, make my dream relationship appear to be very slim. I'm over 40 and never been married. I've never been asked! Well, not seriously. OK, I've been asked twice,

But not by anyone I wanted to marry!

I don't know! Something about, my heart wanting only what my heart wanted and ...it didn't want to be attached to these guys. At least, not for a minute more than it took to get away from them after they each "proposed". That said it! If I couldn't stand a minute more of them, I certainly couldn't do it for a lifetime! Both times...I knew in an instant upon being asked, what my heart and head decided, had been the best decision. A long time ago, there were two others. I would've said yes to either one of them had they asked me...but neither one of them did. One was a friend I had grown very smitten with. The other one, I was very much in love with,

(my sons Dad). Turns out, not marrying either one of them was also a good idea! This I later discovered as I looked back on my life! Hmm. Strange, isn't it? I didn't marry one of the guys who wanted to marry me, but the neither of the guys I wanted to marry, ever asked me! Strange, indeed!

So now, I'm over 40 and still, single mother of my 19 year old. To top it off, in my life, I'm also surrounded by other women of different age groups who are just as single (and more hopeful than I) with the same "predicament" if you will. And I gotta tell ya, IT'S NO FUN! Too many women, plus not enough decent, eligible, productive, "good" men. Pickin's is slim yall! But there are plenty of the "other" kind! Including "hit it and quit it guys (purely doggish), street beggars, financially poor, weak spined men, looking for a strong woman they can sponge off of, married men or attached men looking to "share the wealth". Don't forget the men who are of mature age, still living with their parents!

One such recent horror moment in my life, came the other day. As I was walking home just a couple blocks from my apartment, I was hit on by a ragged tooth, street guy as I passed by. I'd shown him some kindness with gifts of food before and a pleasant "hello" as I passed, but this day, he decided to say something else. He asked me what my name was and he asked me...was I married ...(wanting to put in his bid in). Like I said, PICKINS' IS SLIM YALL!

After leaving that guy, I'M THINKING, YEAH! SINGLE HOOD (KEEPING to MYSELF) MAY NOT BE SUCH A BAD thing AFTER ALL! In any case, I still have those thoughts of meeting somebody really special and available! Then...after a few moments or a few days (to be honest)...I eventually come to my senses and blow those thoughts off!

Reduced to thoughts of being single, living alone with a dog and some pet fish, going dancing and eating takeout. (My son is almost a mature enough man, to be out on his own soon) and I've thought about how I will live my life, even right down to how I would decorate my new "bachelorette pad". (Though, without all of the bachelorette lifestyle.) I could see eating Chinese food, takeout three times a week, walking my little "fru-fru" dog that's small enough to put it in a purse and carry! I probably would be working like crazy, maybe start a business or two. I'll always be writing to you Readers. Won't lose sight of that! Maybe a few books and in my future or magazine articles. (One can dream, can't one?) I'll one day be a college graduate as I will more than likely go back to finish college.

In the meantime, I still do sometimes have that thought about

What is love? I mean , for a woman to share the most precious, sacred, intimate thoughts and sides of her herself. (It's been so long, I honestly think I forgot!!) EVEN with all of those accomplishments I plan to complete some time in my life, I'm thinking, "will that be enough to satisfy me?"

WHAT IS LOVE? Does it really exist for women like me? I've only had one "lover" who was my best friend. That was when I was 19 (and long before I received Christ into my life). Best friends make the best partners, I think. But I've never had that since! I don't know if that 's possible again. Those kind of relationships are very unique in themselves. Since then, I've not had that!

I also have never had someone to celebrate me! To brag about me to his friends or family. Bragging about how intelligent, or kind and compassionate, I am. I've never had anyone to brag about how blesses, he is to have me. Nor how funny, how sexy, or great of a person he believes me to be. I've never had more than a hit and conquer it, kind of man. Never had a man who enjoyed the dating process with me. I've never had a man to take me out to really nice places, or on vacations. I've never been celebrated in any of these kinds of way, or ways that I would remember and cherish. So, I've chosen to spend the last 12 years of my life, devoted to my Christian way of living, to my son and to myself. Yep, For twelve years, I've been a single woman, living unto herself! There has not been any relationships with anybody! Nobody special, has come along in all that time and made himself known tome. And the last love I had, was my sons Dad, and that nearly ruined my life! It was because of him, that I didn't' want to take a chance on anybody else. First, it was because I had a hard time getting over him. Then when I did, I also became very afraid that I would choose someone else who would prove to be just as hurtful as he! I was Unwilling to take that chance. Along with a few other things, being unsure of myself, I chose to stay to myself and by myself ! I figured, I'd know when it was time to try again. When that time came though, no one special had come along. And time just kept flying past! So, I've made a resolve.

At 42, I am ALMOST entirely given over to the resolve that I shall never fall in love again (and he, with me), I shall remain single and never marry! I figure that the sooner I accept this, the sooner I can stop setting myself up for disappointment. Like I said...I'm ALMOST there. Still though, in light of where I am in my life, like many women...life sometimes leaves me wondering....

WHAT IS LOVE?

Song by Jennifer Lopez

(#5 on my blog playlist)

Na, Na, Na, Na,

NA, NA Na, Na, Na, Na, ,

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na,

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na,

(REPEAT AGAIN)

NA, NA, NA, NA,

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na,

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na,

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na

People told me, I should write a love song.

Girl you sound so angry, you could use some variation,

but I'm lonely, negative relations, I've been hurt SO many times.

I don't have the patience,

but I wished for so long for someone to come and show me.

Lead by example, cause I've been waiting.

I've tried every age.

I'm so tired of the game.

I wanna be some body's girl!

Would you show me the way!

(CHORUS):

What if, I never find and I'm left behind?

(Should I keep hoping for love?)

What if, I'm still the same, status doesn't change?

(Gotta keep hoping for love)

(What is love, what is love? what is love?)

Somebody show me...

(What is Love? what is love? What is Love? )

... 'Cause if you told....

(What is Love? What is Love? What is Love?)

.... I wouldn't be lonely!

What is Looooove ?

PLEASE SHOW ME!

WHAT IS LOOOOOVE?

I've had blind dates, hooked up with some real flakes.

I've gone out with church boys, musicians are the worst.

I've tried so hard, 'cause I'm just so die hard.

Tried my best to play the part. Wish you could see inside!

But, I've wished for so long, for someone to come and show me.

Lead by example, cause I've been waiting.

I've tried every age. I'm so tired of the game.

I wanna be some body's girl!

Would you show me the way!

(CHORUS)

What if I... never find and I'm left behind? (Should I keep hoping for Love?)

What if... I'm still the same. Status doesn't change? (Gotta keep hoping for Love?)

(What is Love? What is Love? What is Love?)

....Somebody show me

(What is Love? What is Love? What is Love?)

Cause if you told me...

(What is Love? What is Love? What is Love?)

I wouldn't be lonely!

What is Loooove?

Please come show me!

WHAT IS LOOOOOVE?

Na, Na, Na, Na,

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na,

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na,

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na

(REPEAT AGAIN)

I've been alone for the past 3 years on Valentines Day!

Christmas is no exception. Birthdays, no naughty presents.

Been back and forth same action.

I just need this to happen!

I'll be singing Love's praises... If you would show me!

(Repeat CHORUS)

What if I never find and I'm left behind....

What if ...

.....

Na, Na, Na, Na,etc.

BYE!

TRUE BELIEVER-Sisters & Brothers in Christ,1 of 2

Hello!

My fellow "True Believers". As I am unashamedly a Christian or "Christ follower" I've dedicated this column for sharing my experiences as such. So Hello, to those of you, who also have "relationship" with God and the Holy Trinity. Those who have truly "experienced" God. Hello to those who can recognize him in the earth, in the atmosphere, in your life and in the lives of others.

Greetings, my friends! Greetings!

My "Sisters and Brothers" in Christ Jesus!

Though, there are some of you who want to pick and choose, even in the body of Christ, who you will call brother and sister (kin). Often times, you do this based upon YOUR OWN criteria and not upon the criteria of Jesus! We will discuss Jesus criteria for deciding whose in his family, further into this article.

In any case here is an example of the center of this subject matter: We were standing in the middle of the sanctuary after an event. Smiling, I came up to greet her and her husband. Knowing them for 2 years through the congregation, she caught me off guard when she said, "Don't call me Sister! I'm not your sister." That of course, is her right! Even when she and I run into one another from time to time, even now, she maintains that sense of standoffish-ness. It is quite noticeable. So, I am brief in my greetings and let it go.

Yes! It used to bother me alot, I must admit. Who wants to be disliked? Besides, I thought they were really nice people and I looked forward to seeing them. Though I am not liked in return obviously, still I do handle the situation well as I am mature enough to understand that everyone is not going to like me! And the weird thing is, the fault is not always the fault of the one who is doing the disliking. by the same token, the fault is not always on the person who is disliked!

Sometimes you never really know why! The other person may just not like your skin color, the shade of your hair, the perfume you wear, or the way you smile crooked! They could be jealous of your giftings! Maybe they are miserable and they just envy your joy! Who really knows? You know?

It wasn't until later that I found she had issues with my relationship with Christ and my place in the congregation. I don't worship the way she thought I should worship. I don't praise praise like she thought I should praise. I don't speak like she thinks I should speak. Well, my life experiences are different than hers as yours are from mine, Dear Readers. Each one of us, are affected by lief differently not to mention that we have different personalities and made, shaped an formed the way that we are. NO ONE is better than the other! NO ONE! And God reaches each and everyone at different times in their lives and in different ways! He knows why we are apart of the congregation and families that we are! Who are we to rule anyone out! He knows the gifts he's given each one of us and how we can use them for his kingdom in and out of the company of each other you CHRISTIANS!

We are all made for a purpose that only HE really knows why? We don't have the right to say how or when or even why? according to OUR OWN views... about someone else! We have not been given that power and determination by God! Though there are many in the church that think and believe that they have this kind of power. LORD, HAVE MERCY!

You, sitting in judgement, determining in yourself whom you will allow to claim you as a "brother or sister". You choose them OUT OF YOUR CHURCH CIRCLE because you don't like their hair, their clothes, the way they speak, they way they worship, they way they sing, don't volunteer enough. You may not see them put money in the offering plat every time it pass so you get annoyed as if your money is single handily supporting the church!

You may also find yourself annoyed by the way they come late for service sometime.

My question is in all of this WHERE ARE YOU?

Why are you spending so very much time on them?

Do you not know, focusing on them is taking time from yourself being corrected in God, about you! Do you even know those folks situation?

Have you ever tried to find out? For example, if yo are so concerned about them being late, have ever bothered to give them a ride or even offered?. The sad thing is, even in spite of your thoughts of them, Gods anointing on their lives, not even YOU can deny! Yes! They may have obvious flaws, but so do you! So do we all! Still, YOU don't want to claim them as part of your Well! Shameful, I tell you! Just shameful, you haughty, vain, ungrateful being! This includes many of us! It's so true, but have you ever wondered why someone you may have invited to church won't come with you or go to any other church congregation because of the way you act, dissing (disrespecting) other Christians? Before you answer, realize that people watch what you say and do more than you may think!

While it is true, that neither biologically nor spiritually (without having known you and your relation to God ) can I claim any of you as my "true" brothers and sisters! But in the spirit of unity and for the purpose of this article, I title you as such. But there are many of us in Christ, that have an issue(s) with claiming others in Christ as their own, though many Preachers preach family to the body of Christ being united, loving family members, all of the time! "Judge ye not," "Love them", "Know them", "Pray for your brother and sister, congregants", " we need each other", support and stand with one another" , "Turn to your neighbor, turn to somebody else and say..."etc. There is even a popular gospel song that is sung throughout congregations all across the globed hat says, "I'll pray for you, you pray for me... I need you to survive. ... I won't harm you with the words from my mouth, I need you , I need you to survive."

Still there are many of us who ignore the preachings of the preachers and even of Christ. Many still ignore even as they sing this lovely song with God listening and the angels of heaven recording every word that precede out of our mouths. But God knows the heart!

SO PRIDEFUL AND ARROGANT some of us are, to think ourselves better than another even those whom Christ has called unto himself! SHAMEFUL! How we have forgotten that lest Christ came to die for EACH ONE OF US, we would have been nailed to that cross. Lest Christ had come, we born in sin nature, would continue to be wreaking with the stench of of wrong doing. WE, who God has granted such a divine and undeserved gifts of MERCY and ofGRACE still manage to pick and choose those In Christ that we deem worthy!WHO ARE WE to judge? Yes! We are supposed to be discerning! But many in the church, the body of Christ takes that right of wisdom to new heights! More than just being wise and cautious, they sit in judgement and with their voices, with their actions they unfairly and without "real evidence" except for what they "feel", they condemn others in Christ! Sometimes, many times they do it openly, among other Christians and sometimes, while evenin the church house!

Part 2 is right underneath this post.

So stay tuned!

True Believer - Sisters & Brothers in Christ, 2 of 2

See, many of us "True Believers" have have forgotten where we, ourselves have come from! We have forgotten how deep down in the much and mire or our sinful mess, that JESUS had to reach down and pull us up out of. It seems that way, because we still struggle and judge each other in Christ, further continuing to divide the church. It's not the outside, (the world) doing it. It is US! Christians, "those that proclaim anyway. It is us, tearing away at the very essence of why we are who we are in Christ and what he stands for...LOVE, patience, humility, wisdom, knowledge, compassion. Jesus also knew his place in God

(though he is the physical incarnate or extension of God), even as the Savior, the ultimate Master, Teacher, Prophet. JESUS, UNDERSTOOD HIS PLACE! More of us, "True Believers" need to understand ours! We are no better and in no position to think ourselves better than another. WE, not one of us...is JESUS! WE, not one of us, CERTAINLY are not God!

Though many of us think ourselves high above others in the world and in the body of Christ..we are in no real, such position! For your sake and for the sake of others you may be leading, be mindful, my brothers and sisters in Christ! Be more mindful of who sits high above even you!

Excuse me ...if you feel you need to. BUT, if you have been in Christ for more than a minute, then you know what I'm saying is true! In any case, the topic of who are my "Sisters and Brothers in Christ?" is a good topic to discuss. 'Cause many of us have issues about this that can help to put wedges between people in our lives and between us and God. Sitting in your judgement not being fair, prayerful, or loving is a HUGE problem for the church, as a whole! /everyone will not be on board with this, but there are many who will consciously make an effort to submit to loving their brethren according to God's will. God calls for the church to be united. STOP defying him!

For this blog, I use the Life Application Study Bible, N.I.V.

New International Version

Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Wheaton, Illinois

JESUS' CRITERIA

FOR WHOSE HIS BROTHER & SISTER

SCRIPTURE

In Matthew~12: 46-50

(v.46) While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. (v.47) Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are hear standing outside, wanting to speak to you." (v.48)He replied to him, "Who is my mother andwho are my brothers?". (v.49) Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. (v.50) For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."

FOOTNOTES

Matthew 12:46-40

Jesus was not denying his responsibility to his earthly family. On the contrary, he criticized the religious leaders for not following the Old testament command to honor their parents(Matthew 15:1-9). He provided for his mother's security as he hung on the cross

(John 19: 25-27). His mother and brothers were present in the upper room at Pentecost

(Acts 1:14). Instead Jesus was pointing out that spiritual relationships are as binding as physical ones, and he was paving the way for a new community of believers (the universal church), our spiritual family.

Meetta again.

Hmm. Curious! See, according to the previous scriptural passage that we've just read, Jesus didn't even just specify proclaimed Christians! (By the way, not everyone who proclaims Christianity or claim to love God, is doing God's will!)

In any case, Jesus said said, "For whoever..." Though we are taught that the main followers of Christ are those that believe and have proclaimed him as their Lord and saviour, nowhere in there did it say that you and I had to like them nor did Jesus mention any other deciding factor on this matter other than those that are doing the will of God! And HE KNOWS who is and isn't! He don't need you to tell him that! YOU DON'T GET TO HAVE A VOICE IN THE MATTER! By the way, God sees all! HE'S GOD!! Proverbs 15:3 states, "The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good."

Trust that God knows how to deal with the unrighteous, even and especially those who proclaim to be his, just as well as you trust him to deal and reward you, oh righteous one!

Though we may be Christian believers, I may not like you personally, nor you me, BUT we are accountable in our care for one another. We are responsible and held accountable in Gods eyes, how we treat, speak even how think about one another. We are to love. Most of us need to go back and investigate what love "really" means! Also, if you do have an issue with about someone spirituality you need to take that up to the Lord and while your at it, take yourself to him as well! Ask him to open your heart, fill it with compassion and "right" prayer. That he may also redirect your focus and your energy, that it may put to better use for the building up of HIS kingdom and not your own! Trust me when I say, though God is a master at teaching in the spiritual, he also enjoys creating teachers in the natural, of course, to ensure that you and

I get these valuable lessons as well! I have been taught and continue to be and boy oh boy, does it sometimes hurt this flesh of mine!

My point is though, neither yours, nor is my personal opinion of another Christian relevant to Jesus deciding who is his brother or sister! We don't get to determine who has earned the right to be called brother and sister or even his mother! Truth be told, because of the hearts of man (and women and children) if we did have that kind of power, many of us "True Believers" would have a mere few in our respectable, collective family. It would definitely be a gravely, relatively smaller group in comparison to the vast amount of people that God has had mercy on over the centuries!

So. it is then, that we as proclaimed Christians, need to be careful about whether Jesus can even claim each one of us, as his family member?

Many of us are SO adamant about who we will call or who we will let call us their brother and sister in the body of Christ, that we have been tragically and carelessly unconcerned, about the more important matter of if we are doing the will of God in our individual lives? Doing his will also includes LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF. Many of us don't really love ourselves! At least according to how we treat others, including those who are also in the body of Christ right beside ourselves! Doing the will of God,

ESPECIALLY loving, so we can count it all joy knowing Jesus can rightfully claim us as his family!

"Think on these things."

MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN - ADDICTED FAMILIES

Hey Readers!

You may know by now that in my column of "Men, Women and Children" that this is where I discuss situations that involve each gender. Whether the topics are targeting a particular gender or a family, this is where I discuss it. I talk about relationships here, child abuse, divorce, sexual immorality, mentoring children, etc. this is where I discuss it with you! So feel free to comment on any of my blog posts by clicking on the word "comment" at the end of each article of interest.

For today's article though, we will be talking about ADDICTIONS and how they affect the family. I am not getting into specific addictions because they all hurt the addicted persona as well as those that are around them and those that love and care for them. In that sense, all addictions have that in common in that they destroy! They destroy the body of the person, and the body of those whom the addicted person may attack or just invade their life with stress. Addictions destroy lives with loss of jobs, friends, homesteads, family support, intimate relationships, finances. Addictions have the power and uses that power to constantly destroy trust, faith, dreams, hopes, futures, spiritual bonds, self-esteem and the self-respect of the addicted. No one with any intelligence can and will deny that the power of addiction! Although, there is one denial or disagreement about addictions that has been the source of great discussion and arguments.

For example. Although medical expert call addiction a disease, I always had trouble understanding how they could label that as such. To me, an addiction was the result of a choice first made by and continue dot be made until control was lost. And that drug or habit forming cause became the stronger one.

A disease to me was a sickness of some sort. I thought a disease was an outright attack on the body. That is was not something I don't know, I am possibly quite wrong. But hey!

THIS IS AMERICA! The land of the free (somewhat). So, I am entitled to even my wrong opinion. If you know any better Reader, I welcome you to (with niceness) educate me.

I welcome your thoughts, unless they are evil!

In any case, whether a disease or something else fueled by choice, addiction is a serious, contagious matter. Yes! I said contagious because it can spread it's poisonous grip beyond the directly addicted and obviously affected person, poisoning others!

See, addiction "traps the addict the entire family! The addiction governs their thoughts, feelings and actions of every family member. You need to understand the effects on the family, as well as the roles that family members take take on, and how to get help."

EFFECTS ON THE FAMILY

The addicts family family members share these concerns:

* They are suspicious of the addicts actions. This leads to constant family conflict.

*They blame themselves for the addicts' "illness".

~They are afraid of the addicts' un-predictability, especially of the mood swings. They may also fear that the family unit will break up.

~ They are constantly feeling feeling disappointed by the addict, due to the addicts inability to live up to commitments and obligations.

* They feel isolated by the unspoken (and often) spoken rule, not to discuss the problem among themselves. *As I have drug addicted family members, I've often been told not to discuss it with them or anyone else. It's like this horrible secret that if anyone really knows then what? The person's going to go off the deep end, well they've already been doing that (in my opinion). They did that when they gave in to the thing in the first place, that they are now addicted to! Don't discuss it like it's going to go away on it's own! Don't discuss it! WHAT?...Even though we all know!

* They are embarrassed by the addicts behavior.

~ They resent the unfair demands placed upon them by the addict.

FAMILY ROLES

Family members take on in appropriate roles. *This may mean, stepping into the roles that the addicted person held, but are no longer able and responsible enough to manage. For example; Maybe it is Mom or Dad that is now addicted and they were once the bread winners of the family. Now the kids may feel compelled to step up and help with finances to support the household. That in itself, can cause alot of resentment and regret!

TYPES OF FAMILY ROLES

* The Rescuer: wants to protect the addict for the consequences of the addiction by making

excuses for him or her.

* The Caretaker: Tries to compensate for the addicts unreliability to minimize the possibility for trouble.

*The Rebel: Draws attention away from the family's primary problem of addiction.

* The Hero: Engages in exemplary behaviour, secretly think that this will make it easier for the addict to quit.

* The Blamer: Makes the addict the scapegoat for all the family's problems while not doing anything positive to change the situation.

* The Adjuster: Distances him or herself from the pain by withdrawn from upsetting

situations involving the addict.

UNDERSTANDING and GETTING HELP

*Protect the babies

Roles learned in childhood due to the presence of an addict in the family will carry over into adulthood. *This becomes apart of their life experiences which they will later draw on. So, be careful about having addicted people around the children. Whether the children are yours or someone else's shouldn't really be an issue! Just PROTECT THE CHILDREN.

"Some of the most well known programs for families are Al-anon, and ALA-TEEN.

Narc-Anon is available in some areas If it is not in your area, Al-Anon and Ala-teen can be just as effective. Many areas have "Adult Children of Alcoholics groups" for adults who have struggled or are are struggling with with problems from growing up in and alcohol or drug addicted family. These groups are not just necessarily just for alcohol related problems.

In addition to these, professional counseling can be helpful. by reaching out for help ad support, family members an getting their own recovery and get back into enjoying their family and the world around them.

* Reference material supplied by a local area hospital.

BYE!

SOCIAL SCENE- SUICIDE, Pt.1 of 5,

Social Scene...

is where I write about issues that concern us all! Including issues that affect society as a whole including racism, economic, politics, religion and issues that affect our well being including food processing in America and suicide etc.. The latter leads us to our topic today. With so many problems stemming from the country's financial crisis, including personal bankruptcies, loss of jobs, retirement funds and investments, foreclosures and divorces, many people have faced great uncertainty and may fear being swallowed up by it! In desperate time, often people turn to desperate measures and desperate ways of thinking.

SUICIDE ...

Is a permanent solution to a temporary problem! Remember that!

Unfortunately though, many men, women and children have either tried to commit suicide or actually succeeded at it. Yes! People did it for different reasons, but generally it also comes down to pain, some sort of anguish. Usually, though,the problems may seem inescapable in the moments they are being experienced, the solution doesn't have to include suicide! Even if the moments lasts for months, the solution still does not have to be so permanent as to cost a precious life this way! Depending on what your spiritual or religious beliefs are, there is no relief in the eternal when you take your life this way.

One of God's greatest commandments is ...

"Thou shall not kill!"

THAT INCLUDES KILLING YOURSELF!

He will hold you accountable for even taking your own life! Now even in the after life, you got MORE problems because now you have to stand before God in judgement and explain why you wasted the precious gift of life HE gave to you!

SO, WHERE'S THE RELIEF IN THAT?

Facts about suicide:

"Every 40 seconds, someone attempts suicide. Every 17 minutes, someone succeeds. Over 400, 000 failed attempts a year end up with serious injuries. In most cases,the person who commits suicide has tried before and made numerous attempts to reach out to others. Ninety percent of suicides are associated with mental illness, such as depression. And 50% of suicides are associated with alcohol or drug abuse."

*Reference material provided by a local area hospital.

Until next time!

MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN-DIVORCE

Readers,

this information comes from a local organization that specializes in helping people through such matters as divorce.

"Divorce can be one of life's most stressful experiences. It also can be a time of creating new relationships, a time for growing and learning. A time for re-establishing yourself! Understanding emotional and physical stresses that often come from experiencing divorce is the first step in leaning how to deal with them. When you acknowledge and accept your feelings, your learning to care for yourself an you family during this difficult time, you'll not only become aware that you can cope with divorce, but also survive it!"

EMOTIONAL STRESS

Separating from someone you had hoped would be your life-partner is usually painful. You might feel like a failure. You may miss the warmth, friendship, financial security and sex you had or hoped you would have with that particular person. Divorce is especially painful if everyone you know seems to be happily married, or if you get little support from your own family.

Your job as a parent is suddenly that much bigger if you now have primary responsibility for the children. You may have less time to spend with them, yet their needs are greater. If you did not want the separation, your resentment and anger may flare up around them, although it's not their fault. You and your former spouse may have conflicts about child support. If you are a parent whose children are not living with you, you may feel guilty, lonely resentful. You may worry that the children may forget you or be turned against you.

*RECOGNIZE YOUR FEELINGS. It's normal to feel lonely, sad or resentful during a divorce (or even at the end of your unmarried relationship. Heartbreak is heartbreak, you know!)

PHYSICAL STRESS

As in any distressful situation, your body is affected. Ongoing stress and cause minor and major illnesses, including headaches, backaches, heart attacks, stroke, the weakening of your immune system, and even cause stomach problems including ulcers. Even if you feel relieved by the divorce, you may have physical symptoms.

TAKE CARE!

You may not be able to change your situation, but you can stay healthy during the transition if you take care of yourself.

*Recognize your feelings. Its normal to feel lonely, frustrated or even hopeless.

Pound on a bed or yell in the care, where no one can hear or see you release your feelings.

*Reach out to others. Friends, relatives, support groups and therapists can support you

too! A hug, phone call, e-mail, twitter message, a phone call or even a visit mean a great deal.

*Take risks. Try a new activity.

It will keep your mind off your problems and help you to meet new people.

*Treat your body well. Cut down on alcohol and smoking. Eat healthy, tasty food. Get exercise! Walking is always good. RELAX! GO to a spa or treat yourself to do-it-yourself

at-home treatments, including taking a long hot soaking bath.

To end I will say, "taking care of yourself and taking risks can have surprising benefits. don't be surprised if eventually you are stronger, more joyful, have inner peace, are more confident and more content than you were before."

Bye Now,

but remember...

Divorce, you can survive it.

And after that, you will begin and continue to thrive. LIVE!

Meetta

Men, Women & Children-"SING CHILDREN, SING!"

"Men, Women and Children" is where I continue to speak on issues concerning each one of us both individually and as a family. Though Men and Women have great issues to contend with, what about the children?

We as adults, MUST NOT forget that they also have feelings, hurts, pains, joy, needs, desires, dreams and society to contend with. Hey Little babies! Hey small children! Hey adolescents! Hey teens! HEY! I HEAR YOU! So does God!

BELIEVE!!

INSPIRATION STATION

"SING, CHILDREN SING!"

BY Ms. Meetta Martin

From her book "You Can't Say That!";

Poetry To Strengthen Heal and Encourage ~ (2002)

"Children, come unto me, " HE said.

"Let them not be forsaken".

"Children, come unto me", He said.

"Let them not be forsaken".

So, sing children sin.

Sing High!

Sing, children sing to the sky!

(I Love you Lord!")

Some people don't listen.

they don't hear your sound children, but

Sing, Children sing!

God loves a joyful sound.

From broken home and broken hearts,

you are not alone.

God is not that far.

With no one to listen and no one to care,

Just call out HIS name child,

believe and send up a prayer.

Sing, Children sing!

Sing High!

("I love you Lord"!)

Some people, they won't listen.

They won't listen.

They don't hear your sound, but

Sing, children sing out loud!

God loves a joyful sound.

This kid said to me,

You don't understand what it's like to be a child!

You are a grownup you haven't been small for a while.

You are in your own world and I am into mine.

HOW COULD YOU KNOW,WHAT I FEEL INSIDE?

YOU don't know what I feel inside!"

"I know pain", I said.

"I know a pain greater than myself!

Though I live, I am not here on my own strength.

Though my pain was great, though your pain is great

There is something greater than any kind of pain.

Just call HIS name child, believe, and send up a prayer.

believe child!"

Help will come in time!

So, sing children sing.

sing high!

Sing Children, sing to the sky!

Sing children, sing.

I LOVE YOU LORD!

GOD LOVES A JOYFUL SOUND!

See Ya! Meetta