Hey Readers!
You may know by now that in my column of "Men, Women and Children" that this is where I discuss situations that involve each gender. Whether the topics are targeting a particular gender or a family, this is where I discuss it. I talk about relationships here, child abuse, divorce, sexual immorality, mentoring children, etc. this is where I discuss it with you! So feel free to comment on any of my blog posts by clicking on the word "comment" at the end of each article of interest.
For today's article though, we will be talking about ADDICTIONS and how they affect the family. I am not getting into specific addictions because they all hurt the addicted persona as well as those that are around them and those that love and care for them. In that sense, all addictions have that in common in that they destroy! They destroy the body of the person, and the body of those whom the addicted person may attack or just invade their life with stress. Addictions destroy lives with loss of jobs, friends, homesteads, family support, intimate relationships, finances. Addictions have the power and uses that power to constantly destroy trust, faith, dreams, hopes, futures, spiritual bonds, self-esteem and the self-respect of the addicted. No one with any intelligence can and will deny that the power of addiction! Although, there is one denial or disagreement about addictions that has been the source of great discussion and arguments.
For example. Although medical expert call addiction a disease, I always had trouble understanding how they could label that as such. To me, an addiction was the result of a choice first made by and continue dot be made until control was lost. And that drug or habit forming cause became the stronger one.
A disease to me was a sickness of some sort. I thought a disease was an outright attack on the body. That is was not something I don't know, I am possibly quite wrong. But hey!
THIS IS AMERICA! The land of the free (somewhat). So, I am entitled to even my wrong opinion. If you know any better Reader, I welcome you to (with niceness) educate me.
I welcome your thoughts, unless they are evil!
In any case, whether a disease or something else fueled by choice, addiction is a serious, contagious matter. Yes! I said contagious because it can spread it's poisonous grip beyond the directly addicted and obviously affected person, poisoning others!
See, addiction "traps the addict the entire family! The addiction governs their thoughts, feelings and actions of every family member. You need to understand the effects on the family, as well as the roles that family members take take on, and how to get help."EFFECTS ON THE FAMILY
The addicts family family members share these concerns:
* They are suspicious of the addicts actions. This leads to constant family conflict.
*They blame themselves for the addicts' "illness".
~They are afraid of the addicts' un-predictability, especially of the mood swings. They may also fear that the family unit will break up.
~ They are constantly feeling feeling disappointed by the addict, due to the addicts inability to live up to commitments and obligations.
* They feel isolated by the unspoken (and often) spoken rule, not to discuss the problem among themselves. *As I have drug addicted family members, I've often been told not to discuss it with them or anyone else. It's like this horrible secret that if anyone really knows then what? The person's going to go off the deep end, well they've already been doing that (in my opinion). They did that when they gave in to the thing in the first place, that they are now addicted to! Don't discuss it like it's going to go away on it's own! Don't discuss it! WHAT?...Even though we all know!
* They are embarrassed by the addicts behavior.
~ They resent the unfair demands placed upon them by the addict.
FAMILY ROLES
Family members take on in appropriate roles. *This may mean, stepping into the roles that the addicted person held, but are no longer able and responsible enough to manage. For example; Maybe it is Mom or Dad that is now addicted and they were once the bread winners of the family. Now the kids may feel compelled to step up and help with finances to support the household. That in itself, can cause alot of resentment and regret!
TYPES OF FAMILY ROLES
* The Rescuer: wants to protect the addict for the consequences of the addiction by making
excuses for him or her.
* The Caretaker: Tries to compensate for the addicts unreliability to minimize the possibility for trouble.
*The Rebel: Draws attention away from the family's primary problem of addiction.
* The Hero: Engages in exemplary behaviour, secretly think that this will make it easier for the addict to quit.
* The Blamer: Makes the addict the scapegoat for all the family's problems while not doing anything positive to change the situation.
* The Adjuster: Distances him or herself from the pain by withdrawn from upsetting
situations involving the addict.
UNDERSTANDING and GETTING HELP
*Protect the babies
Roles learned in childhood due to the presence of an addict in the family will carry over into adulthood. *This becomes apart of their life experiences which they will later draw on. So, be careful about having addicted people around the children. Whether the children are yours or someone else's shouldn't really be an issue! Just PROTECT THE CHILDREN.
"Some of the most well known programs for families are Al-anon, and ALA-TEEN.
Narc-Anon is available in some areas If it is not in your area, Al-Anon and Ala-teen can be just as effective. Many areas have "Adult Children of Alcoholics groups" for adults who have struggled or are are struggling with with problems from growing up in and alcohol or drug addicted family. These groups are not just necessarily just for alcohol related problems.
In addition to these, professional counseling can be helpful. by reaching out for help ad support, family members an getting their own recovery and get back into enjoying their family and the world around them.
* Reference material supplied by a local area hospital.
BYE!
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