MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN-"The things Men Say!"

HELLOOOO READERS!

Men, Women and Children column speaks on issues that concern all groups! Relationships, family issues as well as issues concerning each gender as individuals. Forgive me for not writing much for this column since its introduction article on September 2, 2009.

(Check my archive section for that one) It's just that, trying to figure out what first to write about! It's so many pertinent issues concerning us all! So, with that in mind, let me begin as I have recently been inspired by an interesting subject that was brought up to me in conversation. I promise not to keep you waiting for this column like that again! Thanks for taking the time to read my posts!

The topic is: THE THINGS THAT MEN SAY!

And what should you do about it if they say it to you?

OY Vey!! First of all, THIS SUBJECT right here, had me really sad about the fact that I don't have a little sister. If I had one, I would pour everything that I have experienced about life, into her! Hopefully, to spare her some of the pain and hard lessons that I and some of my women friends have unfortunately had to face in our adult lives.

So, because I don't have a little sister, I pour all I know into those who come to talk to me about "stuff", holding back little and in the process, teaching and sparing some. Dear Reader, through my different columns, for the last few months, I have been pouring into you as you have allowed me, taking in what you needed and discarding the rest. Hopefully, I have been of some use.

Moving on. As a woman who have lived a full life up to this point, I can say that I have been in some interesting situations and conversations. As I am sure that you all have, as well. The thing is, I like to learn as well as share. Something came up though, with a buddy of mine, that caused me to listen and share! Regarding the topic of this article, my buddy was feeling pretty low because of what some guy said to her! She was digging the guy, pretty heavily and well, he decided to "reveal" something unsettling about himself that proved not to be conducive to her idea of this becoming a relationship. Well now, let me just tell you this, WITHOUT telling you anymore of her story! I'll share another experience with more detail.

This one will take you a little farther in this scenario, and the person who experienced this does not mind me sharing with you.

There was this guy that a close friend of mine was digging pretty heavily too and she thought he felt the same way! Then, after a great deal of time, this guy started "revealing" some unsettling stuff about himself too! Before I go any further...."WOMEN, let me say this to ya! When a man tells you something DEEP about himself...

PLEASE, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE....LISTEN!

LISTEN TO THE MAN! HEAR IT AND for Mercy's sake...

ACCEPT IT for what it is!!! It may not be the best thing to ignore it, depending on what he's saying! For example: If he is telling you things like,

"Look, I like you and all, but I really just want to get laid." HELLLOOOO! KNOCK, KNOCK, ANYBODY OUT THERE!

Sister Girls! This IS NOT a joke!

You need to LISTEN, HEAR, ACCEPT what the man is telling you!

Then make a decision accordingly to WHAT HE IS SAYING AND NOT

what you or your friends perceive! The guy is telling you what he wants!

You don't have to figure it out! What else do you need to know?

So, if you are not feeling that, and you want more from him,

SO SORRY, YOUR BUBBLE HAS JUST BEEN BURST!

So tighten up, square your shoulders and MOVE ON!

TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS BABY GIRL!

EVEN IF you really dig the guy, YOU CANT CHANGE HIM!

So Accept it or not! It's up to you!

Old School will tell you (By the way, OLD SCHOOL is older, wise people)...that

" A MAN WILL BE, WHAT A MAN WILL BE"....AND that is whatever he chooses! So, if he wants to be a dog....Let him be a dog somewhere else! That is...if that is not what you want!

Ladies, also please keep this in mind, "

That a man, upon first seeing you, IS NOT looking at your personality."

Getting to know people is just like a relationship, They both just take time!

Take your time, ladies! Take your time.

Here is another "By The way" moment...If a man can "get your cookies"...most times he will!

HE WILL "SHOPLIFT THE POOTY" IF YOU LET HIM!

There are SOME MEN ...

who will put a bag over an ugly woman's head to have sex with her!

They don't care if you are fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, or just attractive.

They don't care if you are old, young, married or not, or if HE'S married

or not!

They don't care about your Christian beliefs, Sisters!

A MAN WILL GET "SAVED", START GOING TO CHURCH, REGULARLY AND even become ....

....A MAN OF POSITION in the CHURCH....

OR USE his church position...JUST to get to you!

THERE ARE "wolves in sheep's clothing!"

Women, some men, A LOT of MEN, don't care whether you are employed, unemployed, rich or poor, it does not matter! If you got the goods and he's in the mood...It's on, Baby!

I am an adult woman who has lived a very full life, up to this point!

I also have told you in other articles, that I have grown up around men.

I have 4 older brothers and 6 uncles, my Moms brothers.

I have worked with many men AND I have taken public transportation for many years! I HAVE HEARD MANY, MANY MALE CONVERSATIONS! All of THAT is what qualifies me to say what I'm saying, in confidence because it is TRUTH!!!!

Now, your man may not have said the example line in the previous paragraph, so, depending on how you feel about him and what he said,

if you feel the need to question him, QUESTION HIM! Get the information you need out of him. Get to the bottom of it, If that's what YOU (not your friends, this is YOUR life!) need to do! Take a step back though in the meantime, taking everything into account. Decide whether you want to invest anymore of yourself into this person! In the meantime, may I suggest that you don't pour your pity all over him, treating him with kid gloves!

This is a GROWN MAN who you are in an adult relationship with!

Say, THANK YOU FOR SHARING and GO ON with your life!

At least until you figure things out for yourself!

PLEASE!!! TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT!

SISTER GIRLS, I'M BEGGING YA!

Because, if my friend had LISTENED, HEARD, ACCEPTED what this particular guy said AND MOVED ON from him...her life would not have included spending many months crying over him, questioning her decision making, beating herself up, experiencing low self-esteem issues, battling unnecessary loneliness and viewing all other men, like dirty,

low down, sack of....savage beasts! And all because of this guy! He told her things like,

" You're a nice girl, you don't want to be with me.

You think you do, but trust me, you don't." Instead, because women often times, don't know how to turn off that ever flowing faucet of compassion, that is running over in us, my friend had pity on the man because obviously he was was going through something! Having strong feelings by then, she couldn't see the truth and sincerity in what he was saying. Being a woman, a very loving, kind woman, she hung in there.

Time went on though and the bomb, that had been ticking on their relationship finally, with full impact, exploded and left her scrambling to pick up the pieces...alone. Her man, with whom she thought she would one day wed, had up and gone. The strange thing is, in his own way, he was trying to warn her. Yes! This very important bit of wisdom came to my friend after hind sight had visited her months after their relationship was over and dead!

Still, it came though, this very important piece of wisdom. That's the important thing along with my friends healing. And so now, my friend is much wiser! She also has learned, once again to be open to the possibility of relationships. Still, remembering though, ...

that when a man "reveals himself", it is best to

LISTEN, HEAR, ACCEPT and if need be.......MOVE ON!

While it is true that people in relationships say things for different reasons, perhaps out of fear that if you knew the real them, you wouldn't like them anyway, or whatever the situation is, Protecting yourself IS NOT a bad idea! Thinking The guy may just be scared of getting too serious may not be all it is! Just like the guy my friend dealt with, the guy may really be giving you a warning about what kind of guy "he really is",

NOT THE ONE FOR YOU!

Like I said, in the beginning...If I had a little sister, the the things I'd share with her!

So, for now, I guess I just have to tell you!

Til' next time Dear Reader,

From "Men, Women and Children",

This is Ms.Meetta, signing out!