It's May 9Th and it MOTHERS DAY!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY,
MOTHERS!
This is your day! Do what you want. Spend it like you want...
As long as you are happy.
CELEBRATE YOURSELF, if you have to. BUT CELEBRATE!!!
Mother's YOU ARE SPECIAL!
While there are many of you that will be honored and lavished on this day, served breakfast in bed, taken out to eat. The house chores will be done for you. Many of you will receive store bought or hand crated gifts. You may receive gifts of candy, jewelry, stuffed animals and lavish gifts of trips and cash even. MANY, MANY of you who will receive lots of hugs and kisses. There are MANY, MANY, MANY more of you, who will not receive such special treatment on this day. And MY HEART goes out to those of you who fit into that category!
IT'S A TOUGH JOB BEING A MOTHER!
Especially, if you have spent your life caring for and truly being there for your child or children!
There are many women who bear children, but have not "mothered" them. They have not cared for, nurtured them or properly provided for them. While there are others who have made some serious life altering changes to be there for their kids and grand kids!
There are those of us who have put aside our own dreams and goals for the sake of focusing on the children. We have continually been challenged to keep the children ahead of ourselves. Many of us have even been reconciled to raising the children on our own, with out the aid of the "Father" of the child or children to ensure that the child received proper such nurturing attention. While it is known to be a better situation for the child being raised with two loving parents, that is not always the case though. Usually, the woman ends up having to go it alone.
Lots of times, these "courageous" mothers are not noticed, honored, or respected.
I'm bringing up the single mother on MOTHERS DAY, as well I should! Many Single mother's get a raw deal on Mother's day, especially single mothers of babies and really small children. Unless, there is someone else who can and does, her children can't lavish on her what many other mothers get lavished on them! Her babies and small children can't express with their words their appreciation for her! They can't take her to restaurants, give her jewelry or let her know how much she is appreciated. Even though, there may be other adults around her, they may not recognize her gift as a mother either! So even in them, there is no one to lavish on her, on this special day.
"TO A DEAR WIFE...ON MOTHER'S DAY", "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY...TO THE ONE I LOVE", "TO YOU MOTHER...FROM ALL OF US." etc., etc.
We live in a society where if you are married and have children, then your title of "Mother" stands higher above a single Mother! The word "Family" usually, still stands in high regard of married women with children as well. As well it should be! But it also should not dispel the acts of of loving single mothers! I go deep on this subject of single mothers on "Mother's Day" also because...I AM A DINGLE MOTHER! And have been so for 19 years.Although, this was not my hearts desire, I have raised my son on my own since his birth.
I have done this with the help of some dear friends, a few family members and even with the aid of strangers. While friends and family members, provided some emotional and financial support over the years. There was also throughout my journey, strangers I would run across, that would give kind words of encouragement, especially on those days when I would take walks by myself and cry. I remember it was this one fellow, at a bus stop, asked me what was wrong and looked into my face and said ,"It's going to be all right, just hang on. This will soon pass. Just hang on." That man, in one moment of kindness, without having ever seen me before or since, gave me more emotional support than my son Dad had given me at the time. That man in all his cruelty, will honor a stranger he passes in the street with a "Merry Christmas," "Happy Thanksgiving" or "Happy Mother's Day" before he would ever call my house this day and wish his son and me these things!
On Mother's Day, as I am thinking on being a mother, I have thought about my sons Dad and that bothers me. For future Mother's Days, I will make it a point NOT TO think on him!
That is not the case for today though. Moving on!
Considering the world we live in, in my case, as my son was "naturally" conceived, I could not have done it without him, the Dad. The thing that bothers me about him on this mothers day is as we mothers think on the reason we are mothers in the first place ...( having our children), I've also had a few passing thoughts that motherhood has not been a happy journey for me! Mainly because I've had to endure it as a dingle mother. After we had a few breakups before the final one took affect years ago, The Dad has never really offered emotional or regular financial support, except for the now small penance my son gets deposited every week. The amount is the equivalent of 1 haircut per week for my son, in a neighborhood barber shop! I have made many sacrifices like all of you to raise my son, and take care of us both. For all of that, besides my son, I have nothing much to show for it! My son Dad does even acknowledge him, even now!
THE ONLY WAY MY SON, WE EVEN KNOW HE'S ALIVE is because of the friend of the court message dying that funds have been deposited into my son's account. THE ONLY WAY WE EVEN Know (the other main reason I am a mother, The Dad) is alive...is through the friend of the court! We know he's still alive, because of the May 7th deposit information I got over the phone. The sad thing is, that's the thing my son cares about the most...That his Dad is all right! Other wise my son wouldn't even know he's living!
So for that reason, considering how this man turned out to be... makes me sad on Mother's day! BUT WHEN I THINK ON THE THINGS that God has brought me and my son through...the help and people he has provided on our journey to cushion the blows of life we kept taking...and I look at my son's beautiful smile and feel his hugs, of a thankful kid... THAT IS THE STUFF THAT MAKES MY MOTHERS DAY BE TRUE!
Being a single mother in this society, still comes with the astigmatism of dishonor or disgrace. it comes particularly to women of low income or other such misfortune. But there are a host of valid reasons why women are single parents. Being a single parent should not discount them from getting all of the lavishness that causes them to have a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
"There are many "men" who have created children and left them with their mothers, to be raised solely by them, without even giving those mothersrecognitionon this day! Particularly those who have gone on and made new families with other women, only to honor their current mates on this day....is so disgraceful to mothers EVERYWHERE! Particularly those mothers, who successfully raised their children to be productive, intelligent, decent and wise human beings. "
My son once asked me, "Mom, how can Dad, a man (in rejecting me) reject himself." How can he live with that and be all right?
There are many people who mourn over or go to a Dead mothers grave to pay their respects, and yet do not pay it to the living mothers! Whether that mother is their sister, their "babies Momma", their in-law, their neighbor, church congregant, someone, anyone they know, that is still living that have raised or are still raising children is of no consequence.
HOW CAN YOU CELEBRATE THE DEAD FOR HER ACHIEVEMENTS AND IGNORE THE LIVING FOR HERS?
SAYING AND (EVEN BETTER) showing, "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!" to deserving mothers everywhere, be they single parent or married women, on this day is kindness at its best!
For all we endure and give away, simply put...IT'S TOUGH BEING A MOTHER!!!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, WOMEN, ...WHOEVER
and wherever YOU are!
LOVE, MEETTA
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