We are finishing up Teens and loneliness. Loneliness has many aspects to it and shyness is one of it components. Shyness in the final chapter of this series.
SHYNESS.
Picking up where we left off.
Shyness is an uneasiness around others, especially new people and those of the opposite sex. Often times, symptoms can become physical, and associated to upset stomach, heart pounding and losing their ability to speak, among other things. Shyness can affect your life in many ways. It can cause you to pull away or withdraw, isolating yourself. By doing this you end up building a fence around yourself seeming stand-offish or hard to relate to.
Shyness can cause you to seem weak and passive, lacking confidence. Maybe you don't stand up up or speak up for yourself, expressing your opinion, letting your voice be heard. You may be accepting anything as it comes, even though you may not want everything that comes your way! When you give into shyness, letting it control you, at some point you will find yourself missing great out on great opportunities to make friends and have companionship. You can miss out on having adventures with new people, going places and connecting establishing lasting relationships. If you do that long enough, you could be setting up a situation where you are allowing loneliness to enter into your life and possibly remain there!
Overcoming shyness.
The way to start overcoming shyness is working on building up your self esteem level! One way to do that is to think about your gifts and talents. Focus on some of your favorite attributes about yourself and focus on them. Everyone has weaknesses and strengths, you are not alone in that aspect of it. Just keep all of those positive things about yourself, in your mind when you making new friends! Don't focus on what they may be thinking of you or how they are "evaluating" you. They may be just as nervous or shy as you and concentrating on what they will say when they meet you! So, just relax and hold onto your confidence! You'll do fine!
Even if that person does not choose you to be a "friend" , don't get down on yourself. Don't take on someone else's problems! "Those who are worth having as friends will evaluate you, by your character. They will have taken the time to assess the things that are great about you. They will choose you to be their friend because you are a kind person, for example. They may enjoy themselves around you because you make them laugh and feel comfortable.
Other things you can do to overcome shyness is to take plenty of time for self discovery. Make a list if you have to! Make a list of your strengths and your weakness. Your strengths are the things that reflect the best part and strongest part of your character. Maybe you are an honest person, you don't steal and you always strive to tell the truth. Maybe you are creative and helpful! Focus on those thing about you and they will continue to build up your confidence.
Now onto your list of weaknesses, the things that are flawed about you!
Maybe you are self-centered (selfish), stubborn or have a compete distrust of people. Even labeling people un-trustwory before you even give them a chance to prove themselves. Now figure out ways you can help change those flawed behaviors about yourself.
Try this for example: If you are a self-centered or selfish person, try being more caring about other. Maybe you should start respecting other peoples feelings more. Talk less about yourself and putting your needs ahead of everyone else's! Perhaps you can volunteer to help with the elderly in the nursing home or babysit your sisters kids to give her a beak! These types of things will counter act that selfish behavior and help you become a more "sensitive" and less selfish person.
To end, here are some helpful ways to overcome shyness and lessening the chance of loneliness becoming a lasting part of your life.
1) You have to understand that shyness is a behavior and this behavior can be changed!
You also have to want to change this behavior, believing that you can!
2) Replace negative thoughts and actions with positive thoughts and actions.
3) Work on building your self-esteem and maintaining a high non-arrogant, confidence level.
4) Learn how to relax and handle nervousness, anxiety and stress.
5) Remember to take chances by introducing yourself to people in a calm and likable manner. Maybe you will have to make the first move. Don't be afraid! Though they may have their differences, they are just people, human beings made of flesh and blood, just like you! They may be just as nervous as you! Also Remember, "if you want friends, you must first show yourself friendly."
Take care of yourselves young people!
Until next time, Peace out!... Meetta
No comments:
Post a Comment