This column is for you! We will explore subjects that directly pertain and affect you. So, if you have any thoughts or ideas for upcoming articles, don't hesitate to click on the word "comment" at the end of this article. OK? for right now though, this is part 2 of
"Teens AND Loneliness". Part 1 was posted on February 1, 2010.
Now, on to the subject matter at hand, but first, let me ask you this question.
Do you sometimes feel cut off from the world, lonely, and forgotten?
Even though you know you are in a world full of BILLIONS of people, that knowledge doesn't seem to give you much comfort. It also may not give you comfort knowing that many, many other people also experienced periods of loneliness, but the fact is, they do! Still, it is nothing like feeling connected!
Connections, relationships, are part of our natural makeup. God saw that what he had created with Adam was good, but he noticed all of the animals had mates and were thriving but when he looked at Adam, he saw that his creation in him was not complete. "It is not good for man (any human being), to be alone." So, Eve was created as a Help-MATE. (NOT A HELP MEET, as in "help me meet my needs) In some ways that may be true, but she was not created to be Adam's slave and sub-ordinate. Eve was there to fill important roles like helping Adam come to his full potential as the Beginning or Father of humanity. Through Adam and Eve came us, human kind. Together, Adam and Eve multiplied the earth through child bearing. From them and there children, is how we came to be, (depending on what you believe).
Anyway, through connections of companionship, character is developed. Now remember, "RELATIONSHIPS" come in many types. It's not just sexual things. The word relationship means the state of being "related or inter-related". Relations involve relatives or connections between people who share a common interest!
Relationships are necessary for healthy minds as well. We grow through situations with each other. We grow mentally and emotionally. We learn who we are, who we can be and we learn who not to be, through relationships. Isolation can separate us and take us places in ourselves we don't want to be, that is, if isolation is NOT used well! It is one thing to just take some "alone or me time " to rejuvenate and or meditate to refresh ourselves. But isolating ourselves too long or for other reasons, cutting ourselves off, can begin to tear down and tear into our humanity. Isolation can lead into loneliness, creating havoc and disruption in side of you. Though loneliness is not a "disease", it should be used as a warning sign.
Loneliness reminds us that we need closeness, relationship and the intimacy of companionship. Some people end up having mental situations to deal with after very long periods of isolation. People were "built" for human connections, not isolation. We were not meant to be in the world alone! "Sometimes loneliness is forced upon us by a death of a loved one that we are very close too. Sometimes loneliness comes upon us when a very close relationship is over, like a marriage ending in divorce. Sometimes it happens that a close or longtime friendship has ended or maybe someone has moved many miles away. In either situation, loneliness can be "temporary". It doesn't have to evolve into something longstanding and disastrous!
THINGS YOU CAN DO!
When we don't have those connections of closeness and intimacy, that can cause a problem. Here are some healthy steps you can take to rectify that problem.
Talk out your feelings. Be Open!
Find someone who cares and talk to them about how you are feeling. BE HONEST!
Talking is a great release. It can also help give you clarity with the situation. Recognize the change in your life and while it is therapeutic to talk about the past, it is not good to constantly visit the past! For a healthy life, mentally and spiritually, find it in yourself to "MOVE FORWARD". Create new memories!
GET INVOLVED!
Participate in some acceptable social groups, make new friends! Sometimes it can be hard to make friends, but you have to! Don't just pick anyone. Find people of interest and introduce yourself. Find someone who is interested in some of the same positive activities as you are and open yourself up to the possibilities of new found friendships. Making new friends can be hard and uncomfortable, but you have to make efforts to accomplish this task. REMEMBER!
You can't live in this world by yourself!
RE-ESTABLISH OLD BONDS
Sometimes much desired, broken relationships can be re-established. Sometimes not. But in those cases where it may be possible, if both persons are willing, making amends and forgiving (releasing yourself and the other person from the offensive action) can help re-build and even strengthen relationships. Communication is absolutely necessary in this! Talk a little, listen AND hear a lot more! Get it all out! Be honest. Be willing to listen hear what the other person is saying. Value it! Don't disregard their emotions. Their emotions are just as important as yours! Compromising is also necessary. You need to give, as well as take. Remember to not just take! Be a giver in the relationship, be it in a friendship, dealings with Mom or Dad, another relative or other special person, anyone you want to get close to.
Continuing Teens & Loneliness on next week..
in "TEEN SPEAK."
This is a great article. I truly enjoyed reading it. It was greatly written as well!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't find your email so I could answer your question could you send me an email so I can send one back.
I'm from the poetry blog.
average.terran@gmail.com