According to Webster's Standard Dictionary,
Assertiveness is: authoritative; insistent;
Reader,
Today we are going to talk about assertive people. You can't talk about assertive people without mentioning aggressive people. Though they are thought of as one in the same, actually, they are two different types of people!
Assertive people have the ability to be authoritative in their speaking! The can positively and constructively speak without violating the rights of others. Being Assertive doe not mean the same as aggressive! Aggressive behavior denotes negativity. Aggressive people express their rights at the expense of others or even forcibly deny the rights of others! "If you have struggled with being assertive, you may have been mislabeled aggressive. This may help you may help you feel justified about not being assertive. However, believing that assertiveness is aggressive can prevent you from taking steps to improve your assertiveness skills."
Assertiveness helps you focus on direct, honest open communications that does not deny or violate someone else's rights and helps build positive communication in relationships whatever they happen to be. Be those relationships family, friend or work related! Being assertive can help you feel more confident, gain respect from other and live a happier more fulfilled life. It can help you feel more in control of your surroundings and also improves your ability to make decisions.
The road to more assertive behavior however, can prove difficult. There often times, is that fear that if you project assertive behavior that you will get your feelings hut. That you will be rejected for speaking your mind, interjecting your ideas. Lack of confidence turning into shame can also be an issue. Many times, we put much more confidence and thought into other peoples thoughts and ideas than our own! We tend to hold theirs to a higher standard by lowering our own for ourselves. Fear not though, projecting assertiveness will not keep another person down. And not being assertive when you know you can and know hat you should only keep you down and can keep you from meeting you legitimate physical and emotional needs. As a result, you may prove to be unhappy, hurt, anxious, angry, and full of low self esteem!
There are a number of things that directly affect your assertiveness throughout your life that you may not have thought about. Take for example your childhood. How you were raised as a child, does directly shape and mold your assertive skills, right from the beginning! Learning lessons on the validity of your personal rights can cause you to act positively to grow in these lessons. You have the right to speak your mind, to say yes or not, what you will or won't accept for yourself. You have a right to be treated with respect. You have a right to privacy. These things are examples of living an assertive life. When assertive behavior is not learned and practiced, your life has the opposite affect. You may be weaker, open to abusive behavior by others, too bound by fear to speak up for yourself and so the winds of life toss you to and fro.
Some people are afraid to be assertive, stating their opinion openly in an open discussion, for example. They may think it's rude to interject their thoughts that it is somehow selfish of them to do so! Thinking that assertiveness equals selfishness is completely and utterly false! Selfishness is being excessively and exclusively concerned with oneself or thinking of ones self without regard for others. Being assertive does not dismiss or ignore the needs of others, it means incorporating them into yours and boldly recognizing yours own at the same time!
If you have problems being assertive, practice! Practice being assertive. Speak your mind on subjects that arise that interest you! Join in on group discussions. It may be hard at first, but you can do it! your voice deserves to be heard! Your thoughts are just as important as anyone else's. Practicing assertiveness "helps you confront old ways of thinking, helps you become more naturally assertive." When you start practicing assertiveness, "be patient with yourself." New habits are hard to develop. New skills come with stumbles. It's OK! You may even find yourself being assertive when it's not necessary! Be forgiving of yourself! Learning, and practicing new skills, are all apart of growing!
Finished!
See Ya, Bye!
No comments:
Post a Comment