Here you go! The last of the poem /short story of a a serious trial in my youth that could have proven to have conquered me. Instead I was able to gain strength and clarity from it. I also walked away with a new perspective on God.
INSPIRATION STATION
My Whole World Changed...I Was 17
Poem by Meetta J. Martin from her book
"You Can't Say that!; Poetry to Strengthen, Heal and Encourage.
My appearance at home, at my Gran's, was not like one would imagine,
especially considering the situation.
I was not greeted with love, but with anger.
My Gran's house was full of of people swarming.
My closest cousin, who was like the sister I never had, was crying
and THAT DAY she disowned me.
I was 17.
As I continued to enter upon safely arriving there,
with my silent police escort,
Some of my family members, some Aunts, and Uncles, proceeded to shout in my face asking me,
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO GRANNY?"
"YOU ARE CRAZY!"
"UNGRATEFUL!", they told me.
"TRIED TO WARN HER YOU WERE A PROBLEM!"
"(You) JUST WANTED SOME ATTENTION!",
some said as they followed me upstairs to my room.
THIS was my FAMILY!
To my face, one of my Aunts, my mother's sister, even said, "You wanna kill yourself, GO AHEAD!"
HECK, I THOUGHT I HAD!
Did my Aunt even care why? Why I did it?
This was an adult talking to me! Family!
I was 17.
There reaction proved it! They did not understand! Nor did they care to!
I realized even more strongly then,
that their concern was always and only for my Gran.
They had no real concern for me! I shouldn't have even been living there!
I tried to tell them at the Foster Care home I was in,
but they wouldn't listen to me.
They proceeded as planned to release me to my Gran's,
from State Foster Care Home I was in.
The rest of them, (My Aunts Uncles and some cousins)
were no better than my Uncle Joseph,
who was more concerned about paying my Gran's bills
with the Foster Care stipend, more than he cared about my healing!
I realized that I was truly alone in this.
I felt like my life, (my survival or demise), was completely in my hands.
I was 17.
So with tears streaming and siting on the edge of my bed,
I stared straight into the eyes of that Aunt who said, "You wanna kill yourself go ahead!"
I stared and never said a word 'cause I felt such a calm inside.
THAT VOICE?
THE ONE I SAID I HEARD while I was waiting at the movie theater for life to slip away?
That voice, the one I said I believed and still believe was the voice of God,
Let me know that although it seemed like it, I was never ever really alone!
I just needed to get to a point and be in a position, with heart wide open,
where I could hear it and it would not be ignored.
I needed to be in a position where I could hear that voice and learn!
That is when I first discovered that life, my life, truly has a purpose!
So, I decided to KEEP ON LIVING!
I wanted to see first hand the goodness my life would be yielding!
I proclaimed then, with my new found strength,
"I WILL NOT LEAVE THIS EARTH BY MY ON DOING!
I WILL NOT LEAVE WITH EARTH BY MY OWN HANDS!
Although we think we know better what we need, for whatever it is, that we think we believe,
GOD HAS OTHER PLANS!!
In a short period of time, my whole world changed, again and again!
And I experienced my first real revelation!
I WAS 17.
For Parts 1 & 2 of Teen Speak, "I was 17",
Look in my archive section under the month of April.
THE END
Meetta
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