TeEn SpEaK- "...I Was 17", Pt. 3 of 4

Readers,

Thank you for joining me once again, for "TEEN SPEAK".

The column that speaks on the subjects that directly affect our youth. I am still inviting the world's youth to speak out, to drop me a line expressing their concerns on what interests, bothers, and concerns them. So, my youthful Readers, if you have a Google, Face Book or Twitter account, you can click on the word "COMMENT" at the end of this article and post your comment to me. I read all comments and often put them in my

"MEETTA'S READERS" column.

In the mean time, I am following up where I left off in writing a short story about one of my most difficult trials while I was a teen. While I write about the anguish I felt, I ALSO write about my survival. As hard as it was, I CAME OUT OF IT alive and well! YOU CAN TOO,

my young friends! As a matter of fact, you don't even have to let your situation or problems even get that far into becoming traumatic problems before you squash them!

IT CAN BE DONE! Life's problems even at so young, don't have to get you gone.

You can beat it. And positively so!

"INSPIRATION STATION"

My Whole World Changed...I Was 17.

Poetry/ Short Story written By Meetta Martin

from my book;

"You Can't Say That!; Poetry to Strengthen, Heal and Encourage" ~2002

THE PAIN WAS SO GREAT...

...that I started thinking I could not take it any more.

My family did not want me there anyway, living with my Gran.

I heard the whispers and the talk!

SUICIDE! THAT 'S THE WAY, I thought!

What a terrible permanent solution to a temporary problem.

But when you are young or just in pain (at any age),

you tend to think so small.

You tend to think alot of things!

But you are thinking not with a healthy mind.

At this stage, you are thinking with a heart and mind so numb with pain.

In any case, I won't tell you how I tried to do it Dear Reader.

You don't need that image making a home in your mind.

THE GOOD THING IS that it did not work, as I was to later discover.

My whole life lay before me and I was contemplating suicide!

I WAS 17.

After I did the deed, thinking I would succeed crying, I called a friend.

I told her that I would not be seeing her tomorrow as planned.

Questioning me, knowing what I was going through,

she stayed on the line as long as she could

before I said goodbye and hung up.

I hung up, thinking it was for good!

My Gran was downstairs.

I didn't let my friend talk to her as she had asked.

Scared, tired and wounded from carrying around SO MUCH internal pain

and having tried to hurt myself, I left the house.

I left, looking for a place I could go and wait.

Somewhere I could go and wait to die in peace.

As it was the middle of the day, I wanted to find a quiet place.

So I went to a movie theater for the matinee.

Hardly anybody was there. One or two other persons as I recall.

After carefully surveying my surroundings,

I sat in the dark waiting for life to slip away.

My head was hurting SO VERY BAD!

My heart was pounding SO HARD, I thought it was going to explode!

Still, I refused to go home.

I just sat there, I closed my eyes, leaned back and WHAM!

As bad as I thought I had it and couldn't stand anymore in being an abused,

neglected kid, who tried to end it all to escape my pain...

My whole world changed, AGAIN!

A voice was talking to me, it was talking to me SO calmly.

It said "NO! I know what you did and it is not going to happen.

It does not matter what the problem is. you have to go!

It is time for you to go home!"

I sat up , opened my eyes and realized that...

NO ONE WAS SITTING NEXT TO ME!

I was pretty sure that no one had seen what I had done.

At first, I was very puzzled.

I thought my mind was playing tricks, but that voice said it again...

"I know what you did.

It's not going to happen. Go home!" I knew down inside even as a kid,

that that voice came from above, and yet seemed to also come from inside, down within.

That was the voice of God!

I knew it was not my own voice, because if that kid that I was back then,

had her own way, you would not be reading this because

I would not be here to have written it!

I got up and did just what that voice said.

Needless to say, I WAS FREAKED OUT!

I thought, "Well, maybe I should leave!

Slowly, I walked almost 3 miles to get home.

I took the long way home and ALL THE WAY,

somehow I felt comforted by that voice.

Especially when I got closer to home and I heard that voice say,

"when you get there, it's going to be chaotic,

but you will be all right. Just go in and keep moving."

Believe what you will Dear Reader, but that voice that day, made a "True Believer" out of me!

The closer I got to my neighborhood, I saw police cars riding around and one slowed down.

He slowed down right beside me.

He had his window down.

He leaned over just a bit, with his walk talkie in his hand,

"SHE'S WALKING ON HER OWN.

THERE ARE NO VISIBLE SIGN OF ANY WOUNDS.

SHE'S WALKING TOWARDS HOME."

My family had put an alert out!

It felt strange because

this was the same family that treated me like an outcast,

but not because of something I did,

but because of the abuse that was done unto me.

STRANGE was the word that kept running around in my head.

Still, that cop never said a word, but stayed near me,

following me all the way to my door.

Good! I thought. 'Cause I was drained!

My whole world changed, I was 17.

Stay tuned Young people for the last part, part 4.

THANKS FOR READING.

STAY STRONG AND BE ENCOURAGED!

MEETTA