Understand that we as adults hear you and are aware of the things that you all go through. Remember! In order for us to become adults, we first had to go through our teenage years as well! Though times may have changed, issues surrounding human being, remain the same.
Loneliness, abuse, suicide...many of us were affected by the same things. Although, we are of a different generation, the problem remain the same. So, I'm going to share how one of the tough times in life, negatively affected my teenage life. Of all of the things you get out of this poem,
I hope you see the hope and courage it took to survive.
"INSPIRATION STATION"
My Whole World...I Was 17.
"You Can't Say That!';
Poetry, to Strengthen, Heal and Encourage. (2002)
When I was 17, my whole world changed, again.
Even on sunny days, darkness crept in.
I was in Emotional pain, and living with Grandmother.
I was a Foster care kid.
I was in Foster CARE because of something that was done to me,
not because of something I did!
At 15, the court took me away from my mother, because of abuse by her and others.
The world as I knew it, drastically changed.
In my old world, I suffered in more ways than you could imagine,
at least, some of you anyway.
Still, I have nothing to be ashamed about!
Out of that experience, Spiritually I grew
and now I have something to say!
Life, at my Grandmothers was difficult.
I resented having to go there, right from the beginning.
I was once again living in the kind of home
where I was not really wanted.
I was talked about and taunted
...because abuse put my entire family in the spotlight!
I had to attend counseling sessions.
Social Workers were dropping by.
I was different!
Because of my situation, I was like no other kid in my family.
I was different from all of my cousins.
My whole world changed.
Because of the gossip and mis-understandings
surrounding my abuse, no one really understood what was really going on.
I stood out like a soar thumb!
So, I had to find a way to protect myself.
I grew thick skins, had to have more than one.
I grew stubborn and defiant to.
It grew out of control.
I was isolated and cold.
I figured, if I shut them all out,
....then my family's unkind words could not harm me!
I became really good at this. I feared nothing and no one!
I gave my Granny a hard time.
I was mad at her for not believing in me
and trying to understand this part of my life!
she was like the rest of them, those that ignored the signs.
It hurt more though when it came to her, SHE WAS MY GRANDMOTHER!
I thought Grandmothers were supposed to be strong and wise!
I felt forced to stand and protect myself.
No one wanted to listen, not even my Grandmother.
When I tried ot tell her, she kept pushing it aside.
She didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to believe it because
I was accusing her daughter and her Grandsons.
I was accusing the seed of her womb for mistreating me!
Even though she knew something in my household was wrong.
Growing angrier and I still was keeping isolated,
protecting myself with my thick skins.
My plan was working fine, but somewhere I started to really close off inside.
I hated that I felt I had to resort to such practice.
But no one in my family wanted to listen to my truth!
I vented.
I cried.
Because of this situation, I nearly died.
My whole world changed...and I was only 17.
BE BACK TO FINISH!
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